Below is Barack Obama's inaugural speech. My comments are placed inline.
My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
He didn't sacrifice the dignity of his position just to make some snide comment about his predecessor. I thought this was classy.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.
Forty-three Americans have taken the presidential oath. Barack Obama is the forty-fourth president, however Grover Cleveland's two terms as president are broken up by the presidency of Benjamin Harrison. Therefore, Cleveland is both our 22nd and 24th president. He does not, however, count as two Americans. Barack Obama is the 44th president and the 43rd American to take the oath.
The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
It would have better been stated, "America has carried on usually in spite of those in high office. It has been because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals...."
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
There's a lot of obvious in this paragraph. The truth here is buried in the middle. The words, "our collective failure," carries in it a lot of truth. Americans not only have problems, Americans are the problem. As a country, we have to make some hard decisions and it would be wise if we didn't leave these decisions to our elected representatives (i.e. politicians). We need to force these people to represent us and our best interests and not just blandly sit back and say, "The government will take care of us."
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land, a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.
It was very smart to not say that we must lower our sights. That was Carter's line. History does not remember him kindly for it.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
It's not bad material but it's just rhetoric.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics.
Good luck with that. We've heard it before. It hasn't happened yet. If you can pull it off, then you are the miracle worker that some say you are.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
A better rewording: Time to get up off your collective behind and start holding our feet to the fire. Make your representatives actually represent you. Vote us out of office when we engage in the usual politics. Call for our removal from office when we do something stupid. Don't let us be the idiots we've been for far too long.
By the way, there are a slew of other countries that are younger than we are. In the great scheme of the world, we're closer to middle aged.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted, for those who prefer leisure over work or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
What I said in the last paragraph I'm just rephrasing here.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died in places like Concord and Gettysburg, Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions, greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
When you want to inspire people, talk about the people who came before us.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again the work of remaking America.
The first half is a three-syllable chantable: U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
The second half: Brace yourself for I have big ideas. Fear not, they'll get lost in that partisan bickering I said was coming to an end.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of our economy calls for action bold and swift. And we will act not only to create new jobs but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its costs. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
OK, let's break this down. We're going to do something hasty, and probably ill-advised, to fix the economy (you know how government works). Then we're going to be Romans. The Romans were great road builders. I suppose if there was electricity and Internet in Julius Caesar's time, it would have been really great too. Then we are going to be like a cheesy 1950's science fiction movie and employ super science to solve our problems. Then we're going to add a solar panel, a sail, and some potting soil to our cars. Finally, we're going to get a new buggy whip and see if we can't get just a few more laps out of the dead horse that is our educational system.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage.
It was not so terribly long ago that this nation mobilized its full efforts to achieve a goal. Why did we work so hard to put a man on the moon? Boy, did we love Kennedy. Shortly before that, we mobilized our full efforts to achieve another goal. Why did we work so hard to win World War II? Boy, were we pissed off about Pearl Harbor. And boy, we really hated Nazis. What's going to be our big motivator this time? Boy, we really miss easily obtainable consumer credit?
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's knowledge will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Cynic is a term invented by idealists to insult realists. You're overstating here, Mr. President. The ground hasn't shifted yet. I do not underestimate the position you have in history. You have a real shot here. You could fix this political system that can only be described as busted. Your election didn't cause this. Neither did your inauguration. Your actions going forward might be worthy of this paragraph.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched. But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
Yes, the market is good. A watchful eye is good too. A too watchful eye can be stifling. Let's not go overboard on this one.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy; guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We'll begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we'll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life; nor will we waver in its defense. And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
I've heard most of this before. Several times. I'd quote it but I'm too tired to chase down citations for my déjà vu.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth. And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
If we're not going to be a melting pot anymore, could we at least find a better term than patchwork?
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
Please remember the phrase, "Easier said than done," before you get too far into this.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
This is ambitious.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service: a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
God bless our troops.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job, which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new, the instruments with which we meet them may be new, but those values upon which our success depends -- honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall. And why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by nine campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.
Most of the rest of this is fluffy rhetoric. It's respectable fluffy rhetoric, but it is nevertheless fluffy.
For all the fun I had poking at this speech, it was a good speech. It wasn't all fluffy rhetoric. I can forgive some fluff because it can't be avoided. It's an occupational hazard. It would have been a great speech if it went just one step further by not only pointing to Americans as the problem, but pointing to Americans as complicit in the biggest problem with this country, the American political system and the politicians that comprise it.
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Joe the Plumber, whose 15 minutes were more than expended during the 2008 presidential campaign, is 
Bob the Builder will be reporting on the effects of rockets and mortars on the buildings. He'll be lending a hand in the reconstruction effort. He's going to go against the grain and build quick with cheap materials because the stuff he builds will only need to last a week or so until the next rocket, or mortar, or car bomb, or whatever knocks it down again.
Dora the Explorer will be going there on a peace mission. By teaching them basic Spanish expressions, along with math skills and music in a very interactive environment, she might get the two sides to finally come together in peace. If not, the answer to peace in the Middle East is probably floating around somewhere in that backpack of hers.
Thomas the Tank Engine will be on the scene. He won't be doing much as there is not an overabundance of railroad tracks in the region.
Hopefully we won't have to hear much about Joe the Plumber's antics in the Middle East. If we do, I'm going to suggest that we send somebody to interview him. I'd like it to be another FIRST NAME + THE + DESCRIPTIVE WORD(S). I think the person who would be best suited to this task would be Vlad the Impaler.
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