I've been passively listening to the news of late. Nothing in particular since my primary sources of news are taking the holidays off. I hope John Stewart and Stephen Colbert have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I can't listen for very long a time as it induces a desire to gouge my eyes out with a shrimp fork. It is so difficult to listen to how our wonderful and perfect government is going to fix all our ills and protect us from ourselves since we all seem to be evil to the core. That is, of course, except for these people, nay, demigods that make up our government. It's so fortunate that we are even permitted to breathe the same air that they breathe. I've been hearing this bull emanate from Washington for a couple of decades now, from both democrats and republicans.
I long for the day that people will realize that government cures are like all the worse side effects you read about in the paperwork that comes with your prescription medications. And boys and girls, I have bad news for you. The side effects to come are not going to be something like, "an erection lasting longer than four hours." The cures to come, just as the cures of the past, will be more like, "gas with oily discharge."
Breathe easy. Things will improve. They've been bad and improved before and they will improve again. However, when we look back we will see that it improved in spite of government and not because of it. Oh, and bring a spare pair of underwear. That oily discharge can be a real mess.
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