Monday, March 9, 2009

The fierce urgency of mimicking political-speak in the business world [UPDATED]...

palm pre.jpg An article on is a wonderful example of political-speak being employed in the business world. Roger McNamee has been singing the praises of the new Palm Pre which will is expected to be released this June. McNamee states, "You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two-year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone. Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later."

Now, keep your eye on the ball here. What is the best reason for McNamee's rosy outlook for the new Palm device? Is it...

(a) McNamee has been using a pre-release device and is enamored with it.

(b) McNamee is an ardent Windows user who, in his spare time, runs a Mac Sucks blog.

(c) McNamee is the cofounder of the investment firm that owns 39% of Palm and really hopes that the new device will reverse six straight quarters of loss totaling more than half a billion dollars.

(d) It could be a combination of all three.

(e) Who are you frickin' kidding, it's (c).

Fair disclosure statements before I continue:

1. I own and love my iPhone.

2. I love Macs and have owned them since the late 1980's.
3. I used Palm devices for years until the lousy synchronization drove me to become a member of the back to analog movement in the early 2000's. I loved my Palms until I didn't any more.

Maybe the Palm Pre is going to be the greatest thing since the guy who said, "Hey, what if we sliced the bread before we sold it?" Maybe it will be the second coming of the Jesus phone. All of this and more could be wonderful about the Palm Pre. However, I will tell you this. If I owned 39% of a company that over the last year and a half had watched $650 million dollars go up in smoke, I wouldn't care if the phone had a hand crank and required you to yell the phone number into it expressing the phone number using the old telephone exchange names. I wouldn't care if the touch screen only worked with a stylus made of plutonium and fairy dust. I wouldn't care if you charged the phone by immersing it in liquified baby seal skulls. Please buy 10 as soon as they go on sale.

This is Palm's Hail Mary pass. It could work. It's really cool stuff. And I favor competition in a market space. It drives innovation and that's good for the consumer. It could also fail. Anything is possible. If it does fail, Palm, Inc. goes the way of the dinosaur and the dodo.

Read the tech news. You'll find good information about the Palm Pre. If you would like to comment on McNamee's blathering but hopeful comments about the new Palm Pre, he can be reached at JAckass 5-1234.


On March 9, Palm has filed a form with the SEC formally withdrawing several of Roger McNamee's statements quoted in the Bloomberg article. It's a fun skim.

Important note: Due to the constant ringing, Mr. McNamee has changed his telephone number and sent a couple of Klingons to my house to induce me to not publish his new number. After sharing a nice plate of gagh, they decided that McNamee wasn't worth wasting the charge in their painstiks on me. Therefore, McNamee can now be reached at EAtingcrow 1-4321.

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