Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The fierce urgency of being Assbag Man...

It's fun when someone is laughably stupid. This almost makes up for my last post about him being stupidly stupid.

Assbag Man's Premise:

Short selling a stock is inherently evil. His spot tonight focused on a company that sold footwear or something (I was laughing too hard). The guy who ran the company blamed short sellers on the downfall of his company. This makes perfect sense because people make buying decisions based on the stock price.

Assbag Man's Flawless Logic:

Right now, almost everybody who is anybody who is buying a computer is buying a Mac from Apple because the stock price (at time of this writing) is just under $100. Nobody would even consider a system running Microsoft Windows because Microsoft is under $20 and you certainly wouldn't want a Dell because they're under $10. That's why Apple's OSX has less than 10% of the market and Windows has most of the rest ................... ummmmm ............ wait a minute. That doesn't make sense.

Assbag Man's Quandry:

Let's see, Starbucks ended up today. But it's way off its 52 week high. Do I want a latte or not?

The Cure for Assbag Man:

Stephen Colbert, "Neil Gaiman wrote a book about a child being raised by ghosts. I believe it's the tragic sequel to Hop on Pop." I busted a gut.

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