Sunday, February 1, 2009

Simplifying the Washington Post...

The Washington Post printed an article, 8 Questions on the Stimulus Package, in Saturday's paper. In the interest of saving you time. I will provide you with shorter and more simplified answers.

1. Do we really need to do this?

No. Given time, the economy would correct itself. It's a slow and painful process but our economy is self-correcting.

2. Where would the money come from?

We're going to pay the national Visa card with a cash advance from the national Master Card. That national Master Card will get paid with a cash advance from the national Discover card and so on and so forth. Keep sending us those, "You have been preapproved for...," offers. We'll be applying for all of them.

3. How quickly would the money be spent?

Just slightly faster than light travels in a vacuum.

4. How would the money be spent?

Here's a peek. I won't say that there is no good in it if you won't say there's no bad in it.

5. Where would the jobs be?

Which politicians in Washington have the most pull right now?

6. How would we know the plan was meeting its goal of saving or creating 3 to 4 million jobs?

The party in power will say it is. The opposition will say it isn't. No counting method will be deemed as trustworthy. None of the counting methods will come up with the same figure. In short, we'll never know for sure.

7. How quickly would the economy recover?

It will take about the same amount of time as it would if the stimulus package didn't happen. The package might eliminate a little of the pain of this economic downturn. However, if we remove the pain, we'll likely remove the thing that comes with pain. What was it again? It begins with a g. I just can't remember it.

8. Would this be the beginning of a new New Deal?

No. Find an American history textbook and find the chapter that comes before the chapter on World War II. You know, the one on which every American history used to end? Do your own comparison.

By the way, in case summer vacation happened before the end of that World War II chapter, we won.

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