Our armed forces should leave Iraq. They should also leave Afghanistan. We should also pull them out of any other foreign land in which they are stationed. There is a more urgent enemy that needs to feel the full force of the American armed forces.....Canada.
CTV produces a television show called Corner Gas. It's an absolutely delightful show. It is a great way to escape into television for a half hour. It isn't a M*A*S*H or Cheers, although it enjoys a lot of popularity in both the United States and Canada. It has been difficult for the show to gain a lot of traction here because of the odd times it is shown.
It has been decided that there will be no more episodes after the sixth season. This is what has turned Canada from the longest friendly border to our mortal enemy to the north. It is time for action. That action should take the form of carpet bombing. If this does not guarantee several more seasons of Corner Gas, then the occupation of any Canadian city with a population of over eight should follow. If this does not sway the decision, then I believe that the occupation force should support the formation of a new government for Canada. I believe absolute monarchy would be appropriate. I believe the first king should be me.
After the coronation of Gridlock I, my first act would be to declare that there shall be a season of Corner Gas made for each year of my reign. Eventually, I may get tired of of Corner Gas and let the cast off the hook. At that point I may call for elections and return the government to democratic control. That is, of course, unless being king is a lot of fun.
Save Corner Gas! Don't write your congressman. Write the commanding officer of your nearest military base.