Fierce Urgency

The fierce urgency of not updating my blog...

2010-02-03T20:50:00.002-05:00

Why have I stopped updating this blog?

1. I've lost interest in it.
2. I got tired of participating in the useless buzz.
3. Nobody is listening to anybody anymore.
4. Politics is a waste of time with the current crop of party animals in power.
5. It's hard to type and persistently yawn at the same time.
6. I've rediscovered my joy of reading science fiction.
7. Life is fun again.

I'll be back when our government is dominated by people of principles and convictions instead of people of party.

Ciao

The Fierce Urgency of saying good-bye to the US...

2009-06-26T21:25:00.002-04:00

Go ahead. Copy and use it.

The fierce urgency of, "Gee, I never thought of it that way."

2009-04-02T21:03:00.001-04:00

A while ago, I heard a layman's explanation of a ponzi scheme. It went basically like this...

Well, you start out with a few people who get a bunch of people to invest money. You get that money and part of what new investors pay in. The investors you cheated get the rest of the new investor's money. As long as there are enough new investors paying to keep the old investors happy, the system works. It stops working when you don't have enough new investors.

My response, since I'm not above butting into to a conversation uninvited, was, "You've just described Social Security; just replace investor with taxpayer."

According to the Wikipedia article I cited, the Social Security Administration says that social security isn't like a ponzi scheme. Personally, I find that hilarious. You think that even a questionable source as Wikipedia could come up with a citation besides the controlling body of the entity in question.

The Social Security Administration says social security isn't like a ponzi scheme. You don't say?!?!?!?!? You could knock me over with a sledge hammer.

Bernie Madoff probably said the same thing about his ponzi scheme. At least that time, we had the good sense to get someone else's thoughts on the subject.

I've talked about this before. When somebody tells you something, consider the source. That source might have a reason to tell you something other than the unvariegated truth.

Technorati Tags:
stupid, social security, Wikipedia

The fierce urgency of stopping to think...

2009-04-01T22:01:00.001-04:00

Hating religion is popular these days. For those of you for whom time flies, it has been in quite a while. If you want a really good example of this, watch the movie Elizabeth (1998). This movie decided to portray Philip II of Spain as not only very devout (he was) but as a result of that devotion, he was also mad as a hatter (he wasn't).

Last month, Pope Benedict XVI stated his belief that, "You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms," the pope told reporters aboard the plane heading to Yaounde. "On the contrary, it increases the problem." This statement is both correct and mistaken. Condom use doesn't cure AIDS. In that, the Pope is correct in saying they don't resolve the problem of AIDS. They do not, in and of themselves exacerbate the problem. In that, the Pope is incorrect.

Let me break this down for you a little more. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), condoms, "when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS." There are many sources you can find yourself that say that condoms are less effective when used incorrectly or not at all. Unlike in the case of pregnancy, I could find no percentage effectiveness. I saw several places where they are more effective at preventing AIDS than pregnancy. I'll accept that as true for this discussion.

Most places I saw said that condoms are 98% to 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. Let us, just for discussion purposes, peg condoms at 99.99% effective. Let's put that in terms I can explain well, Russian roulette. I am currently the reigning Russian roulette world champion; last year's Rookie of the Year.

In our game of condom and AIDS Russian roulette, we are going to put away my six shooter I have named, "Lucky," and get out my 10,000 shooter. If you chamber one round in a 10,000 shooter, spin the cylinder, put it to your head, and pull the trigger, the chances you will not decorate the far wall are 99.99%. That figure should be familiar to you. Assuming you remember to respin the cylinder each time you pull the trigger, it is possible you could go your entire life and not have a really, really bad day.

Here's the point that the Pope failed to make but the people who thought instead of just reacted realized. Sexual intercourse with someone infected with HIV is exactly like hanging out with your buddies and playing Russian roulette with my handy 10,000 shooter. At some point in the game, someone is going to "beat" the odds. The last thing to go through their mind, other than the bullet, should be, "I should have been more careful who I had sex with."

The pope also said a responsible and moral attitude toward sex would help fight the disease. Even the CDC says not having sex with an affected individual is the best way to prevent the disease.

Sex isn't a right........No, it really isn't. Condoms aren't perfect. People sure as hell aren't. The HIV infected person who resolves that they will not engaged in behavior that may transmit the disease is doing more than those who are passing out condoms. It isn't easy. It certainly isn't fun. But it is responsible, and it is moral.

P. S. You may have noticed that I did not address the notion of not knowing if your partner has HIV or not. I'll dispense with it quickly for you.

If you have engaged in risky behavior and think it's possible that you might have contracted HIV but haven't bothered to find out, then please don't have sex. Not because I am afraid you might pass on HIV, but because I just don't want you to breed. Do the gene pool a favor. Let it end with you. If you have HIV or think you might but decide to lie about it, please read the above advice.

Technorati Tags:
Catholic Church, AIDS, HIV, condoms, CDC, Benedict XVI, Pope

The fierce urgency of teleprompters...

2009-03-26T20:32:00.001-04:00

If you would like a good laugh while your government goes on its merry way making sure that truth, justice, and the American way disappears from the face of the earth forever, you could enjoy Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog. His site is a Google Blogger site like mine because my comrade in blogging believes that he/she is too good to pay for the right to blog. I kid because I love. There needs to be more blogs like this one. A blog that takes something that should be treated with derision and humor and treats it with derision and humor. I'm not sure what I am more angry about...That TOTUS stole my idea or that TOTUS is so much better at it than I am.

Another site worthy of a visit is TeleprompterPresident.com. Do not skip the embedded YouTube videos.

The fierce urgency of Goya's The Third of May

2009-03-24T19:39:00.001-04:00

El tres de mayo de 1808, Francisco de Goya, 1814

Using the awesome power of super science (that makes a lot of Flash Gordon type noises), I bring you a Washington Post article from the future. I could have looked up some lottery numbers, but I'm here to serve you.

Geithner Asks Congress for Broad Power to Seize YOU

Tuesday, March 24, 2011; 3:50 PM

Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner asked Congress today for new regulatory authority for non-business entities such as YOU in order to "eliminate gaps in supervision" and avoid potentially catastrophic threats to the nation's financial system.

Geithner told the House Financial Services Committee that such authority would have allowed the government to bail out a bunch of people last year at a far lower cost to taxpayers, a position backed by Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke. The government currently has the authority to seize only [my temporal visualizer is a little fuzzy here].

President Obama said he hopes "it doesn't take too long to convince Congress" of the need for new regulatory powers, and Democratic congressional leaders expressed support. But Republicans voiced reservations, with the GOP leader in the House calling the idea a power grab.

Speaking to reporters after a meeting at the White House with the visiting Moonbase Alpha*** prime minister, Obama said his administration is working on a detailed proposal to give the government resolution authority so that troubled non-business entities like YOU can be shut down in orderly fashion, contracts can be renegotiated and bad assets can be sold off "in a way that doesn't endanger the entire system." He said this should be "just one phase of a broader regulatory framework that we're going to have to put in place to prevent these kinds of crises from happening again."

Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), the chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, seemed inclined to support Geithner's request, saying the government should have the same power over YOU that the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. has over banks.

"Banks also failed in 2008," Frank said. "But the fact is that we have in place mechanisms . . . that contained the damage. . . . We need to give somebody, somewhere, in the federal government. . . the authority to do what the FDIC can do with banks."

Sen. Christopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, said of the proposal, "Obviously, not having the capacity with non-banks is a real gap. So I welcome this." He told reporters, "You just can't keep putting capital into YOU. We've got to figure out a way to deal with YOU."

[Insert ominous 1950's science fiction movie music here]

This is the first few paragraphs of an article in the Washington Post. The parts I changed are in boldface and italics. It will either make you giggle or cry. Those of you who are giggling, great. I hope you're still giggling when you realize that your ever-loving government has their hand rammed up your butt to the elbow. Those of you who are crying, if you vote for one incumbent in 2010, you might as well start giggling.

***Yes, yes, I know. Moonbase Alpha was supposed to be blasted out of Earth's orbit on September 13, 1999. That was our old future.

Technorati Tags:
economy, end incumbency, government reform, politicians suck, Timothy Geithner, Treasury Secretary, Washington Post

The fierce urgency of being a Medici pope...

2009-03-20T22:06:00.001-04:00

"Let us enjoy the papacy since God has given it to us." Like many pithy quotes attributed to historical figures, Leo X didn't actually say this. Don't let the fact that he didn't say it suggest he didn't enjoy being the Pope. He blew an impressively large papal treasury in only two years, largely on entertainment.

Young Giovanni de Medici, better known to history as Pope Leo X, was one of those failures that did some commendable things during his reign as Pope. He was a great patron of the arts. He gave lavishly to charity and the money was put to effective use. He reformed Roman institutions such as the Roman University that had been neglected by his predecessor.

While doing these commendable things, he completely ignored the issues that faced the Catholic church at that time, namely, how the church would exist in a post-Protestant Reformation world. The abuses and failures of the Catholic church at that time were left to fester until future Popes would come to address them.

I find the parallel striking. The money is being spent lavishly (whether its effective or not remains to be seen). There's much fun being had filling out brackets. And let's face it, getting to sit in that chair next to Leno is highly coveted. Being the sitting President makes getting the seat a lot easier.

If anybody read this blog, they might ask, "What's wrong the President having a little fun? And by the way, Prime Minister Stephen Harper made a cameo appearance on your beloved Corner Gas."

I'll respond although I think anybody who needs to ask that question isn't intelligent enough to understand the answer.

President Obama is a young man, especially by presidential standards. He hasn't had the job 100 days yet and he needs time off? We have an economy that will get much worse before it begins to get better. He has more important things to which to pay attention. Stephen Harper, when he did the Corner Gas cameo, was in charge of a Canada whose economy was NOT doing an imitation of the Hindenburg.

I confess that I am concerned that we have a President that giggles as freely as President Obama does.

Technorati Tags:
Corner Gas, Obama, Stephen Harper, Canada, Leo X, Catholic Church, Protestant Reformation, brackets, Jay Leno, giggle

Technorati Tags:
economy, Hindenburg

The fierce urgency of rounding errors...

2009-03-19T21:37:00.001-04:00

Charles Krauthammer is great. He is the columnist that wrote the editorial that made me decide to revision my blog. I wanted to write a blog about Congress's reaction to AIG but couldn't think of a title. I can't write a blog entry until I've come up with a title. It's part of my very linear thinking. It's related to a mild psychological decision I have. I can't remember the name, but it has 'retentive' in it. Fortunately, Krauthammer wrote a column that finally gave me my title.

So that I can make my point without a lot of static, let me set aside a couple of simple arguments...

1. AIG was stupid to pay bonuses, contractual or not, legal or not. Bonuses should be paid for excellent performace. AIG doesn't qualify.
2. The people who received the bonuses should have politely declined them.

Now, to my point...

I think AIG and the bonus receivers should hire lawyers to fight Congress's clever idea to tax the bonuses at a rate of 90%. Now we have gone far past the foolishness of AIG and its executives. We are entering dangerous territory. Here's why it's dangerous.

This tax is punitive. It is designed to punish the recipients. It is dangerously close to a bill of attainder except that Congress is not declaring that the bonus recipients have committed a crime. Surely Congress will get around to it soon. Making a person criminally liable to a law prior to the law's passage is called an ex post facto law. Both of these are forbidden by the Constitution [Article I, section 9, clause 3]. Congress doesn't give a flying crap about the Constitution. I've already proven that.

I want AIG to fight this legislation. I want them to win. I do not want this to become common practice. What if Congress decides they don't like people who don't like politicians and decide to tax the hell out of them? What if Congress decides it doesn't like bloggers? What if Congress decides it doesn't like something you do? Are you ready to be taxed at a 90% rate because you like butterscotch cookies, or walks in the park, or building scale model airplanes, or shopping on QVC, or whatever the hell it is that you're into?

If you're nervous, good. You should be.

If you're not nervous about this, you are an unthinking, somnambulant, danger to democracy. Your good and perfect, can never do any wrong, really loves and cares about us like a caring deity, is sodomizing you. I'm going to keep banging your thick skull against the hardest wall I can find until you figure out that politicians are not working in your best interest. Need I be more clear?

One last thing...Let us not forget that our government is bandying about numbers in the trillions (that's a number followed by 12 zeroes) and they have focused our attention on $165 million. That a 165 followed by 1/2 as many zeroes. If you really think this is the most important thing going on, then the government wins and you've been duped. For many of you, I'm not surprised.

Technorati Tags:
Charles Krauthammer, Constitution, government spending, political-speak, politicians suck, stupid, wrong on so many levels, AIG, somnambulant, rounding error, bill of attainder, ex post facto law

The fierce urgency of being Assbag Man...

2009-03-17T20:41:00.001-04:00

It's fun when someone is laughably stupid. This almost makes up for my last post about him being stupidly stupid.

Assbag Man's Premise:

Short selling a stock is inherently evil. His spot tonight focused on a company that sold footwear or something (I was laughing too hard). The guy who ran the company blamed short sellers on the downfall of his company. This makes perfect sense because people make buying decisions based on the stock price.

Assbag Man's Flawless Logic:

Right now, almost everybody who is anybody who is buying a computer is buying a Mac from Apple because the stock price (at time of this writing) is just under $100. Nobody would even consider a system running Microsoft Windows because Microsoft is under $20 and you certainly wouldn't want a Dell because they're under $10. That's why Apple's OSX has less than 10% of the market and Windows has most of the rest ................... ummmmm ............ wait a minute. That doesn't make sense.

Assbag Man's Quandry:

Let's see, Starbucks ended up today. But it's way off its 52 week high. Do I want a latte or not?

The Cure for Assbag Man:

Stephen Colbert, "Neil Gaiman wrote a book about a child being raised by ghosts. I believe it's the tragic sequel to Hop on Pop." I busted a gut.

Technorati Tags:
Assbag Man, Jon Stewart, Jon Stewart is becoming a joke, wrong on so many levels, short selling

The fierce urgency of cleansing one's palette...

2009-03-14T20:48:00.005-04:00

I don't suffer fools well. That's a big part of why I don't like politicians. I have on many occasions praised Jon Stewart for presenting the news the way I like it...funny. TV news is not to be taken seriously. About 900 years ago, when the 2008 campaign began, Stewart became an Obama supporter. That's his right and I support his right to support a presidential candidate. I think he was wasting his time just like all the other Obama supporters, not to mention the McCain supporters. A bad thing happened when he started down this road. His show started getting less funny. Then Obama won the presidency, which Stewart equates to falling in a vat of radioactive waste. He now believes he has superpowers. And the humor value of his show has dwindled steadily since. I guess funny isn't his superpower.

Last night, Jon Stewart's publicity-generating feud with CNBC in general and Jim Cramer in particular came to a head when Jim Cramer appeared on The Daily Show. This is when Stewart came out as dramatically as Robert Downey, Jr. announced he was indeed Iron Man (No. Not really. In the movie.) Jon Stewart is Assbag Man. I watched it Friday evening in repeat. I have better things to do at 11pm when The Daily Show first runs (I was playing Desktop Tower Defense and watching Firefly on Hulu).

Don't look for a link to the interview. I decided not to include it. Google it. I was afraid that if I found it, it would start playing. I only wish to suffer it once. Let me give you a simple synopsis and then you can check it out for yourself.

Stewart asked Cramer about a number of problems in the financial sector that contributed to and exacerbated our current economic problems. These problems have been more than adequately covered before. Stewart is not the great economic analyst of our time. Jim Cramer agreed with him. It was painful to watch because agreeing with Assbag Man feeds his powers of insufferability. There were a couple of points where I think Cramer was going to take issue with what Assbag Man said but Cramer was thwarted by Assbag Man's powers of interrupting when someone else starts a sentence.

Based upon the press and the blogs, there are a number of people who think Jon Stewart (Assbag Man) was really great. That includes USA Today, whose article I linked earlier. Doesn't make them right. A lot of people used to think the sun went around the Earth, not the other way around. They were not right no matter how many of them there were. Therefore, I will spell this out slowly for the many, many terminally stupid out there in a simple Q&A format that will not only provide answers you probably lack the brain power to grasp, but will ask the questions that your few surviving brain cells are too busy celebrating Stewart's non-accomplishment to ask.

Did the financial sector do some really stupid things? Yes. "Some" is a very conservative estimate.

Did CNBC fiddle while Rome burned. Yes. So did the rest of the media, most of whom didn't even talk about this.

Did Jim Cramer share guilt in this? Yes. He said so himself. He said so enough times that anybody who listened heard it. That is, except for Assbag Man.

Did Jon Stewart (Assbag Man) have a good point when he quoted the Carly Simon song about this not being about you (referring to Cramer)? No, he didn't. Guess what, Jon Boy? If you keep showing video clips of your guest, you are making it about him. One of the powers you don't have is the ability to make people realize that although you are showing a person something, you don't really want to talk about it. You're confusing yourself with Captain Non sequitur.

Did Jon Stewart (Assbag Man) contribute anything to this debate. No. You could, and probably have, heard it all before. Read this article. Gee, Johnny, you've only been scooped by about a year.

Did Jon Stewart (Assbag Man) have any good, original ideas? Yes. He suggested he could go back to making fart noises and funny faces. Start now, Johnny.

Was Stewart's point about one of them being honest about what they were all about well made? Not hardly, children. Stewart is the fake news on Comedy Central for crying out loud, and he's trying to play Edward R. Murrow. Both Jim Cramer's website and television show come with a disclaimer. No folks, Assbag Man can't read. You're thinking of The Silver Literate.

For the our government is all good and all wonderful and incapable of doing wrong (believing this is one of Assbag Man's greatest powers) crowd...

Would government regulation have saved us from this? No. Government regulation cures nothing. At best, it plugs holes in the system. At worst, it stifles any given system. Sarbanes-Oxley is an excellent example of our good and perfect (pfft) government's efforts. Sure they reformed the IPO process. They made the regulations in such a way that IPOs have all but disappeared. John Dvorak hit it on the head when he called it, "The public accountant and auditor's protection act of 2002."

Even if government regulation could only stop what actually happened, couldn't it have stopped this? No. The market wasn't going to go up forever. It never does.

But wouldn't have government regulation have made things not so bad? Get over it. Quit expecting the government to solve all your problems. For one thing, they are not completely innocent in all of this. I've briefly touched on this in a previous post. Oh, and this article will (well, should) scare the hell out of you. Make sure you look at the date. If it doesn't scare you, please don't breed.

After this farce was over, I watched the Colbert Report. It cleansed my palette. I laughed my ass off rather like I used to do with The Daily Show before Jon Stewart decided to be a costumed superhero.

Hang up your Assbag Man costume, park the Assbagmoblie, and go back to what you are (or were) really good at...being funny. You are losing your ability to tell jokes as you come closer and closer to being one.

Technorati Tags:
colbert report, daily show, Stephen Colbert, wrong on so many levels, Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart, Assbag Man, Jon Stewart is becoming a joke, USA Today, CNBC

The fierce urgency of handwringing...

2009-03-11T21:03:00.001-04:00

OK, children, attend carefully.

1. The current argument between whether Obama promised to end earmarks or just reform earmarks is irrelevant. Let's face it, promising to end earmarks and lying about it would be preferable to saying you're going to reform the process. It's rather like saying you're going to reform spousal abuse. Why bother ending something bad when you can make it more streamlined.

2. The Senate just passed a 410 billion dollar bill. "President Obama has indicated that he will sign the legislation despite having misgivings about the earmarks."

3. Let's go with he said he was going to reform earmarks. Kids, if you're going to yell, "But that's what he said," you're not paying attention. It doesn't matter. He's not even doing that unless you count feeling really bad about something as reform.

Hence, feeling bad about something makes it OK. If you are planning on doing anything illegal, immoral, or fattening, go right ahead. Just make sure you feel really bad about it.

Our current political system is broken beyond repair. QED. There's a midterm election in less than two years. There's no excuse for incumbency.

Technorati Tags:
government reform, government spending, Obama, politicians suck, stupid, Washington Post, earmarks, feeling really bad, end incumbency

The fierce urgency of mimicking political-speak in the business world [UPDATED]...

2009-03-09T21:43:00.002-04:00

An article on bloomberg.com is a wonderful example of political-speak being employed in the business world. Roger McNamee has been singing the praises of the new Palm Pre which will is expected to be released this June. McNamee states, "You know the beautiful thing: June 29, 2009, is the two-year anniversary of the first shipment of the iPhone. Not one of those people will still be using an iPhone a month later."

Now, keep your eye on the ball here. What is the best reason for McNamee's rosy outlook for the new Palm device? Is it...

(a) McNamee has been using a pre-release device and is enamored with it.

(b) McNamee is an ardent Windows user who, in his spare time, runs a Mac Sucks blog.

(c) McNamee is the cofounder of the investment firm that owns 39% of Palm and really hopes that the new device will reverse six straight quarters of loss totaling more than half a billion dollars.

(d) It could be a combination of all three.

(e) Who are you frickin' kidding, it's (c).

Fair disclosure statements before I continue:

1. I own and love my iPhone.

2. I love Macs and have owned them since the late 1980's.
3. I used Palm devices for years until the lousy synchronization drove me to become a member of the back to analog movement in the early 2000's. I loved my Palms until I didn't any more.

Maybe the Palm Pre is going to be the greatest thing since the guy who said, "Hey, what if we sliced the bread before we sold it?" Maybe it will be the second coming of the Jesus phone. All of this and more could be wonderful about the Palm Pre. However, I will tell you this. If I owned 39% of a company that over the last year and a half had watched $650 million dollars go up in smoke, I wouldn't care if the phone had a hand crank and required you to yell the phone number into it expressing the phone number using the old telephone exchange names. I wouldn't care if the touch screen only worked with a stylus made of plutonium and fairy dust. I wouldn't care if you charged the phone by immersing it in liquified baby seal skulls. Please buy 10 as soon as they go on sale.

This is Palm's Hail Mary pass. It could work. It's really cool stuff. And I favor competition in a market space. It drives innovation and that's good for the consumer. It could also fail. Anything is possible. If it does fail, Palm, Inc. goes the way of the dinosaur and the dodo.

Read the tech news. You'll find good information about the Palm Pre. If you would like to comment on McNamee's blathering but hopeful comments about the new Palm Pre, he can be reached at JAckass 5-1234.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

On March 9, Palm has filed a form with the SEC formally withdrawing several of Roger McNamee's statements quoted in the Bloomberg article. It's a fun skim.

Important note: Due to the constant ringing, Mr. McNamee has changed his telephone number and sent a couple of Klingons to my house to induce me to not publish his new number. After sharing a nice plate of gagh, they decided that McNamee wasn't worth wasting the charge in their painstiks on me. Therefore, McNamee can now be reached at EAtingcrow 1-4321.

Technorati Tags:
Apple, Inc., political-speak, Palm Pre, back to analog, telephone exchange name, iPhone, innovation, competition, Roger McNamee, hail mary

Technorati Tags:
Klingon, gagh, painstik

The fierce urgency of Jolly Good Show, Old Chap...

2009-03-09T18:24:00.001-04:00

OK, I'm tired. Apparently so is the American press. The British Prime Minister came to visit the United States this week. Apparently it was something of a fiasco. Since I'm sleepy and it's like six or seven hours later in Britain and they've had a good night's sleep, I'll let them handle this one.

Now that you've read it..........Oh, you didn't? It's short. Go back and hit the link and quit being a slug. It's much more fun if you read it with a British accent.

Now that you've read it..........OK, if I have to do this one more time I'm sending you to the back yard to cut me a switch, a big politically incorrect switch.

Now that you've read it (FINALLY!), all I can say is that if anybody but a politician had done this, I'd be shocked and horrified. Since it was a politician, I'm not even mildly surprised.

Technorati Tags:
politicians suck, Britain, Prime Minister, visit, ooooops

The fierce urgency of political-speak as usual...

2009-03-03T21:23:00.001-05:00

Today's Washington Post gave me more taste of political-speak than I can handle in one day. The only reason I have grabbed my rosary, crucifix, string of garlic, holy water, and a drum of Pepto Bismol to write about it is that in one article, I can try one more time to demonstrate to you that both parties suck. They both suck. They really do. Watch carefully. First Robert Gibbs with the press yesterday.

MR. GIBBS: Well, I think the question is a good one. I think that -- I think maybe the best question, though, is for you to ask individual Republicans whether they agree with what Rush Limbaugh said this weekend. Do they want to see the President's economic agenda fail? You know, I bet there are a number of guests on television throughout the day and maybe into tomorrow who could let America know whether they agree with what Rush Limbaugh said this weekend.

Here's Limbaugh's whole statement.

No! I want him to fail." If his agenda is a far-left collectivism -- some people say socialism -- as a conservative heartfelt, deeply, why would I want socialism to succeed?

While the entire thought won't change a Limbaugh detractor's opinion, it is a very different statement. My intent is not to defend Limbaugh's statement. I can understand it on an intellectual level. If Obama really wanted Soviet-style socialism for this country, I would hope he fails at that.

On one side we have the, "Let's not let the fact that this little snippet of what he said is different than what he really said or meant stop us."

Democrats down. I'm half way there.

This last weekend, Michael Steele, RNC Chairman goes on CNN and distances himself from Limbaugh and his opinions.

On Monday, the very same Michael Steele, tries to call Limbaugh to express his, "enormous respect," and tells Politico that, "I was maybe a little bit inarticulate. . . . There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership."

On the other side, we have, "This is the press and Americans have short attention spans. I'm sure my massive, titanic flip flop won't cause any motion sickness."

Republicans down. The finish line (unless you really think I need to cover the Whigs).

On one side, we have a politician who says someone said something they didn't. On the other side, we have a politician saying everything no matter how mutually exclusive they may be. I'm sure if I keep my eyes open, I will be able to find an article where the roles flip.

There you are, children. Another example provided free of charge. If you haven't figured it out yet, they're all politicians and they all, GET IT, sucks!

P.S. At least I got to read about the updated products from Apple, otherwise I would have had to do myself in.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, political-speak, politicians suck, republican, stupid, waste of skin, wrong on so many levels, Robert Gibbs, Rush Limbaugh

Technorati Tags:
Apple, Inc.

The fierce urgency of great expectations...

2009-02-27T21:10:00.002-05:00

Like the federal government, I am working on my family's budget. I'm preparing my budget in the opposite direction of the federal government. I am starting with income. I am going to proceed from the assumption that the Mrs. and I aren't going to get fired. I am factoring in three sources of income.

My income.

My wife's income.

A substantial lottery winning.

I like to call it a new era of austerity. ;-) I will, however, be able to factor into my budget that solid gold house and rocket car I've always wanted.

I figure if the Obama administration can do it, so can I. Lest we feel that I'm only listening to the conservative opposition, I have chosen to quote two sources. One of them is the Associated Press. The other is the Socialist Alternative.

I quote from the February 27th Socialist Alternative.

The CBO [Congressional Budget Office] estimates that after that the annual budget deficit will fall to 2% of GDP. But this estimate is based on extremely optimistic projections: a 4% a year average GDP growth 2011-14 and minimum growth of public spending in line with inflation. If the global slump continues beyond 2010, budget deficits would continue to soar. This would make it much more difficult for the U.S. to finance its debt on global financial markets.

I know you have to make an educated guess at future GDP figures but for crying out loud, estimate low. It is a lot less painful if you estimate cautiously instead of optimistically.

I quote now a February 27th article from the Associated Press entitled "Analysis: Obama's budget goals depend on recovery".

But if recovery doesn't materialize as quickly as the White House has forecast, Obama will be unable to make good on meeting his spending targets while also keeping a pledge to try to significantly reduce the annual deficit — expected to be a staggering $1.75 trillion for 2009 — to $533 billion by the end of his term.

I like this quote. It's irrefutable. There is no guarantee that the economy will recover as soon as the CBO suggests it might. The Associated Press has written this perfectly. It isn't trashing the president's budget by saying the future won't happen as the White House has predicted. The AP is saying that it might not. And they're right. It might not. None of this comes with guarantees.

This is politics and politicians at their best. Don't be fooled. They're making this up as they go along. That's both parties. You can't just blame it on one party.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, economy, government spending, Obama, political-speak, politicians suck, republican, trillion dollars, wrong on so many levels, budget

The fierce urgency of a public service announcement...

2009-02-27T18:30:00.001-05:00

I worry about people. There is no end to stories about people who have been duped by some scam or another. Unfortunately, whoever said, "There's a sucker born every minute," was right. It wasn't P. T. Barnum.

If you haven't noticed, I have added an Amazon.com link to my website. I'll move it after a couple of posts but I mostly put it there to make a point. I loved the book. I laughed my fool head off. I strongly recommend you click on the link and buy the book.

Am I saying this because I really think the book is funny? Yes.

Is my only reason for asking you to click on the link because I am trying to recommend a great book. No. I think lots of people should click on that link because if enough people do it, I'LL GET SOME MONEY!

That said, don't click on the link. This blog is an act of love, not commerce. Read on, please.

There are half a dozen (at least) companies advertising their fool heads off telling you that because of bad economic times, it is in your interest to buy gold. The arguments are persuasive. Stocks come and go, gold is eternal. Please make no mistake. The reason they think people should buy gold is BECAUSE THEY ARE SELLING GOLD. If they were selling bunion pads, I guaran-bloody-tee that bunion pads would be the place to be putting your money.

Please take this advice. Your financial future is not in a TV commercial. Find a respectable, and LICENSED, financial advisor who patiently answers all of your questions. If you are uncertain and they dissuade you from investing, they are a winner. If they are talking and you find yourself saying, "Uhuh....uhuh....uhuh," run. That person is a salesperson, not a financial advisor.

If you're bound and determined to buy tangible assets, buy what people really need and will pay anything to get...food. You don't need a car. You don't need a computer. You don't even need a house. But if you don't eat, you'll die.

Fair disclosure: I own five shares of Barrick Gold Corp. However, I am dissuading you from buying gold so there is no conflict of interest, except to me. I own no positions in agriculture.

Be smart with your money. It will only become more precious.

Technorati Tags:
gold, public service announcement, Stephen Colbert

The fierce urgency of being a complete jackass...

2009-02-26T21:35:00.001-05:00

I care, you waste of skin!

Thank you for providing my blog with conclusive proof that politicians are the most useless of creatures.

Technorati Tags:
politicians suck, stupid, useless, wrong on so many levels, Charles Schumer, waste of skin

The fierce urgency of yada yada yada

2009-02-25T21:09:00.001-05:00

From http://www.barking-moonbat.com/

Used with permission.

Obama's speech to Congress happened last night. As a rule, I don't watch speeches. I read them later. It eliminates the possibility of being swayed by the delivery.

Reading the speech was a waste of time. It was so very formulaic.

1. We're great.
2. A bunch of people are going to get goodies from the government (the promise of tax cuts as is promised a lot)
3. We're going to do a bunch of things.
4. It's going to cost a metric assload of money. They'll tell you it's an Imperial Assload, but it's a lot closer to a metric assload.
5. We're great.

I'm not going to pick nits about this speech as has been happening on the news all day. He said we invented the car. We didn't. Whatever.

I'm not going to tell you about how most of this stuff isn't going to happen as most stuff in these kind of speeches don't happen. It doesn't matter which president says it. Most of it doesn't happen. If you haven't figured that out yet, then something needs to be done about you before you breed.

Don't tell me about more fuel-efficient cars, or electric cars, or cars that run on electricity, or clean coal, or imagination, or whatever. It's nine years past the year 2000. We're supposed to have flying cars. I WAS PROMISED FLYING CARS.

Technorati Tags:
Obama, political-speak, useless

The fierce urgency of understanding the credit crisis...

2009-02-21T21:37:00.001-05:00

If you really want to understand how the credit crisis happened, this is a pretty good primer. There's only once piece missing from it but you can add it yourself. Imagine a couple or so decades of steady government pressure encouraging mortgages of every flavor so the administration can boast big housing start numbers.

P. S. Best viewed full screen (next to last button on the bottom).

Technorati Tags:
politicians suck, housing starts, credit crisis

The fierce urgency of pretending you hold the moral high ground...

2009-02-21T16:08:00.001-05:00

I'm going to keep this very simple. Whenever any party complains that the government is doing something that our children will have to pay for, it's a garbage tactic played because they are losing. Anytime someone cries, "Won't someone please think of the children," treat that person as suspect.

Stop and think...

With the current stimulus package, the cry of the republicans is that our _____ will have to pay for it.
With the Iraq war, the cry of the democrats is that our _____ will have to pay for it.

I could keep going but if you can't think of two more examples for each party, you either haven't been paying attention or you have deluded yourself into believing that one party is right when they say it and the other is wrong when they say it. If you're in the former category, start paying attention. If you're in the latter category, no reasonable debate will move you.

Are you a politician? Are you claiming that you are thinking of America's next generation(s) when you oppose a policy? All the thinking people realize the high ground you occupy is actually lava.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, political-speak, politicians suck, republican, wrong on so many levels

The fierce urgency of completely dropping the ball...

2009-02-19T21:50:00.002-05:00

I have a rotten cold so I have to keep this short. Focusing on a task makes me dizzy. I did a quick visit to NewsGator, my favorite RSS aggregator. I did a quick skim which means I read a few headlines from my favorite blogs and marked the rest of the unread as read with a vague promise to visit more often in the future.

One article caught my eye and I had to read all the articles on the topic with bated breath and more than a little hope. Barack Obama took his first trip out of the country. He went to Canada. I read, I searched, I hoped, and I found nothing. That settles it. Barack Obama sucks! He went all the way to Canada and spoke with Prime Minister Stephen Harper himself. There was not one single mention of Corner Gas and continuing the series. Obama didn't make a request, world leader to world leader. He didn't make a veiled threat about how we could employ a lot of people in the United States making bombs if we all of the sudden started dropping them someplace. It isn't like Harper wouldn't have known what Obama was talking about. Harper did a cameo appearance in an episode during the fourth season of the show. You dropped the ball, President Obama. I don't care what else you talked about while you were in Canada. You failed to discuss the most important topic.

Technorati Tags:
Barack Obama Sucks, bomb Canada, Corner Gas, wrong on so many levels

The fierce urgency of blowing off the Constitution...

2009-02-17T01:27:00.001-05:00

Legislation that would grant the District a representative in Congress with full voting rights is scheduled to go before the U.S. Senate next week, a potential milestone in the long battle to secure a seat for the District in the House of Representatives.

It has been said before. I will say it again. I cite section two, clause one of the Constitution.

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States....

The Constitution stipulates that states receive representation in the House of Representatives. The District of Columbia is not a state. Therefore, it cannot have representation. The Constitution grants Congress the power To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States. So far, this has never been interpreted to mean that the power of Congress in the District supercedes all other provisions of the Constitution. But, for the sake of argument, let's say it does.

Within the District of Columbia, Congress could...

Declare an official religion (I suggest the Norse pantheon of gods)

Prevent any other religion from being practiced

Suspend freedom of speech (you can say anything you want in pig latin though)

Go back to the no gun law (including plastic ray guns)

Force you to keep soldiers in your spare bedroom (or the master bedroom for that matter)

Random searching and seizuring can become the rule of the day
Due process, bah! Off with their heads!

Only one trial for the same crime? Screw that! We'll get you sooner or later.

Jury of peers? No! Jury of goldfish. If they die when we take them out of water...you're guilty!

Slavery could be reintroduced. This time, I suggest beautiful people. It would be a great boon to both the BDSM community and to the D.C. area Craigslist.

A new game show could be developed for DC residents called "Who Doesn't Get to be a Citizen Anymore"

Alcohol could be legal and illegal on alternating days. Perhaps random days would be better. No telling if that beer will land you in jail or not.

Women voting? Pfffttt. Only one-armed men over 55 years old. And anyone named Richard Kimble.

This could be interesting.

I'm usually not one for offering solutions. However, since I am a believer in the slippery slope and I don't want to see where blowing off the Constitution could lead, I offer these alternatives.

1. If you chose to live in Washington, D.C. and you have the wherewithal to move out then shut up, suck it up, and get over it. You made a choice, live with the consequences.

2. To eliminate the no taxation without representation argument, I say, "Fine." You don't have to pay federal taxes. You still have to pay any local taxes that are issued by any body for which you elect representatives. You don't get off completely scott free.

3. If you think there are larger issues than taxation, then while the federal government is spending money like drunken sailors on shore leave buying beer and whores, I say vote every family in D.C. a stipend of $75,000 and give them a month to move out.

4. We could always amend the Constitution to allow a federal district to have representatives in Congress. We could get them a pair of senators while we're at it.

Technorati Tags:
amendment, Constitution, government spending, Washington Post, DC voting rights, slippery slope, beer and whores

The fierce urgency of expressing one trillion in useless terms...

2009-02-16T00:50:00.001-05:00

The stimulus package rounds to one trillion dollars. One needs a round figure if one is going to make some foolish comparison like...

How many McDonalds happy meals could you buy every man, woman, and child on earth?
How high could you stack a trillion dollars in $100 bills?
The list goes on but you get the idea.

Not to be outdone, I have decided to throw in my trillion dollars.

If you had one trillion dollars in dimes, you could make 35 stacks of dimes that would reach the moon. (For most of the stacking, you will have to hold your breath.)

One trillion dollars would buy every man, woman, and child in Michigan two shiny, new base model Chevrolet Corvettes.

We don't know exactly how many stars there are in the Milky Way but using the upper estimate of 400 billion, we could give each star $2.50.

You could buy each registered car in the United States approximately 2,100 gallons of gas depending on the price at the time.

You could make the movie Superman Returns 3,717 times, but why would you want to?

Depending on which estimate you believe (they vary greatly), you could send a manned mission to Mars between two and five times.

We could build 5,700 more World War II memorials.

You could buy 10,084,711,577 shares of Apple Computer stock although I would suggest a more diversified portfolio.

Technorati Tags:
stimulus package, useless, trillion dollars, dime, Corvette

The fierce urgency of being Evita Perón...

2009-02-15T19:07:00.001-05:00

It has been a fascinating handful of days.

We've passed the stimulus package in amazingly short time. Finished on Thursday, passed on Friday, and will be signed some time this week.

Sing it with me...
And the money kept rolling out in all directions
To the poor, to the weak, to the destitute [and the salt marsh harvest mouse]
Now cynics claim a little of the cash has gone [to pork]
But that's not the point my friends
When the money keeps rolling out you don't [ask where]
You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful looks
[Reading] only slow things down, [floor debate] gets in the way
Never been a [president] loved as much as Eva Peron

We've had a town hall meeting in Florida where I have come to agree with Jon Stewart. I really hope our president is not setting the precedent that if you are in need, you might get personal help from the President of the United States who, lets face it, has about 300 million other people to worry about.

Sing it with me...
Here's all you have to do my friends
Write your name and your dream on a card or a pad or a ticket
Throw it high in the air and should our lady pick it
[He] will change your way of life for a week or even two
Name me anyone who cares as much as Eva Peron

Now I'm glad that lady got help with her housing situation. I'm kinda indifferent to that guy who got to be a color commentator at a baseball game.

We had the first prime time press conference that drew some pretty funny criticism from Jon Stewart.

Sing it with me...
The actress hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear

In spite of this, Obama has enjoyed rampant popularity. People even dream of having sex with him.

Sing it with me...
High flying, adored
So young, the instant [prez]
A rich beautiful thing, of all the talents
A cross between a fantasy of the bedroom and a saint...

High flying, adored
Did you believe in your wildest moments
All this would be yours
That you'd become the [prez] of them all?

Partisan bickering, mudslinging, he said, she said, and all the other usual stuff happened this last week or so. Like every other president, Obama promised a new era of politics. They never deliver. Nobody seems to notice. Hey, just because it's politics as usual doesn't mean we can't pretend it isn't. Sing it with me anyways...
A new Argentina, a new age about to begin
A new Argentina, we face the world together
And no dissent within

Technorati Tags:
government spending, Obama, politicians suck, politics, stimulus package, Evita, Peron, sing it with me

The fierce urgency of bringing all our troops home...

2009-02-14T19:43:00.001-05:00

Our armed forces should leave Iraq. They should also leave Afghanistan. We should also pull them out of any other foreign land in which they are stationed. There is a more urgent enemy that needs to feel the full force of the American armed forces.....Canada.

CTV produces a television show called Corner Gas. It's an absolutely delightful show. It is a great way to escape into television for a half hour. It isn't a M*A*S*H or Cheers, although it enjoys a lot of popularity in both the United States and Canada. It has been difficult for the show to gain a lot of traction here because of the odd times it is shown.

It has been decided that there will be no more episodes after the sixth season. This is what has turned Canada from the longest friendly border to our mortal enemy to the north. It is time for action. That action should take the form of carpet bombing. If this does not guarantee several more seasons of Corner Gas, then the occupation of any Canadian city with a population of over eight should follow. If this does not sway the decision, then I believe that the occupation force should support the formation of a new government for Canada. I believe absolute monarchy would be appropriate. I believe the first king should be me.

After the coronation of Gridlock I, my first act would be to declare that there shall be a season of Corner Gas made for each year of my reign. Eventually, I may get tired of of Corner Gas and let the cast off the hook. At that point I may call for elections and return the government to democratic control. That is, of course, unless being king is a lot of fun.

Save Corner Gas! Don't write your congressman. Write the commanding officer of your nearest military base.

Technorati Tags:
bomb Canada, bring troops home, King of Canada, Corner Gas

The fierce urgency of fierce urgency...

2009-02-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

Dear Kind Reader,

Last week, I read an article by Charles Krauthammer called The Fierce Urgency of Pork. It wasn't a life-changing moment for me. It was, however, a blog-changing moment. Mourning the Death of American Politics is dead. Long live Fierce Urgency. It's broadening. It allows me to blog on a wider variety of topics which should be refreshing. I will still do plenty of posts on politics as I still need to yell my simple message into an unheeding wind...

Why are you beating that horse? It's dead! Dead!! DEAD!!! Dismount, you moron.

What really has set me on a new path is not what Krauthammer's article itself. It was not its criticism of the stimulus package. It was not even the stimulus package itself, although that's one impressively gigantic piece of legislation. The article was merely the final straw on the proverbial camel's back.

We live in an age of hyperbole. Nobody seems to listen, or talk for that matter, unless it is expressed in hyperbolic language. If you decided to listen intelligently to what was slung back and forth in the last election cycle, you would realize that most of what was said about the opposition just plain wasn't true. This hyperbole is driven by a fierce urgency among people. It's not the same fierce urgency. Each person has their own fierce urgencies. Some have a fierce urgency to make people believe that Barack Obama is a terrorist. He isn't but that doesn't change the fierce urgency to scream it. Others have a fierce urgency to make people believe that the members of the opposition party are the minions of Satan. They aren't, but it doesn't change the fierce urgency. Just this week, the democrats had a fierce urgency to pass the stimulus package. The republicans had a fierce urgency to vote against it. It was all fierce urgency.

I could fight against this era of fierce urgency. It would be a waste of time. We are creatures of fierce urgency whether we like to admit it or not. We've just gotten really bad at suppressing it in public. The stimulus plan is the latest example. It takes a lot of fierce urgency (and a whole bunch of politicians in the same room) to finish a bill on Thursday and pass it the next day. Fierce urgency rules the day.

I am a creature of fierce urgency just like everyone else. I was a child in the age of the two inch thick catalogs that regularly came to your house. Once I discovered that a portion of the catalog had toys in it, I developed a continuous string of fierce urgencies. But at some point it is time for a man to put away childish things. Then it's time to discover girls. That raises fierce urgency to a whole new level. As time progressed, some fierce urgencies remained, some dissipated to be replaced by other fierce urgencies. In this age of fierce urgency, I intend to embrace the age of fierce urgency with both arms. To be honest, I am looking forward to the new direction this blog will take.

Looking forward to serving you in a new and interesting way,

From MarsEdit Images

The fierce urgency of trying to get people to admit our president is a politician just like the rest of them...

2009-02-11T21:00:00.001-05:00

Part three in a planned multiple part series on fierce urgency...

Here's a quote from Obama. It took me this long to blog about it because I was having trouble finding just the right Google search to yield a reliable source for the quote.

"When was the last time that we saw a bill of this magnitude move out with no earmarks in it? Not one."

So this is a bill with earmarks just like the long line of other bills we've seen coming out of Washington full of earmarks?

Didn't you promise us full disclosure of earmarks? This vague surrendering to the fact of them doesn't count.

Is this the change we were supposed to believe in?

Barack Obama, I knight thee politician.

Technorati Tags:
change we can believe in, government reform, Obama, politicians suck, the fierce urgency of

The fierce urgency of crap statistics...

2009-02-11T19:44:00.004-05:00

Part two in a planned multiple part series on fierce urgency...

There are about a zillion websites (I'm guessing because I stopped counting at a bajillion) that post this graphic comparing this recession to previous recessions.

From Blogger Pictures

Click on it to make it larger if you want. The problem with this chart is that is measures jobs in thousands. Since World War II, there has been a continuous increase in population in the United States. There are also more total jobs in the United States than there has been in even the last decade. Compare the above graphic with the one below.

From Blogger Pictures

It's the same information. The only difference is that the job loss is expressed as a percentage instead of a total number. This allows the data to reflect what is actually happening.

Perhaps, just perhaps, we might be able to deal with this recession intelligently if we could see it for what it is and for what it isn't.

It is a recession. It isn't the end of the world.

At the risk of being trite, what goes up, must come down. There will never, ever, ever be continuous economic growth forever and ever and ever. The United States has a fantastic economy. It will be occasionally be interrupted by recessions. FYI, we may not have several hundred billion to throw at the next one if we don't get realistic about this one.

Technorati Tags:
economy, government spending, stimulus package, stupid, statistics, the fierce urgency of

Al Gore Gets a Spoken Word Grammy for Not Speaking...

2009-02-10T22:01:00.001-05:00

I don't know who picks who wins grammies. Whoever these people are, they need to reexamine their decision making process. The award for Best Spoken Word should be given to a person who has spoken words. Let's review the nominees...

Born Standing Up by Steve Martin and read by Steve Martin

I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert and read by Stephen Colbert

Life Beyond Measure by Sidney Poitier and read by Sidney Poitier

When You Are Engulfed In Flames by David Sedaris and read by David Sedaris

An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore and read by Beau Bridges, Cynthia Nixon, and Blair Underwood

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong.

Don't get me wrong. I know why Al Gore won this award. There is no god but global warming and Al Gore is its prophet. That doesn't mean I don't get to call STUPID when it raises its ugly head.

I learned just enough science in high school that I know to hold suspect scientists who are certain about what will happen in the future. There is too much certainty being bandied about on both sides of the global warming argument.

If in the future, it turns out that global warming is a load of crap, I demand that there be a do-over of this year's grammies.

Technorati Tags:
environment, Grammies, global warming, stupid, Al Gore

The Fierce Urgency of Pork...

2009-02-09T22:01:00.001-05:00

There are things that just strike me as being clever.

Charles Krauthammer is the latest person to strike.

Whatever you think of him or his article, The Fierce Urgency of Pork is a damn clever title for an article. I love it. I'm going to tailor blog entries just so I can use it as a tag. It shouldn't be hard. We'll be talking about the stimulus/spending/pork/waste/et.al. package for some time to come.

Personally, I think the people who left comments on this post have it all wrong. This isn't about how Obama is a terrible president. This isn't about how Charles Krauthammer is some mindless hater and Obama is great. What this article is yet another example of is the same old same old of Washington. I don't care who is the president. This would have happened no matter who was president. The only difference is the arguments might have been flying in the opposite direction.

Different faces.....different day.....same old game.

P.S. If I have to talk about a conservative columnist, why can't it be Brit Hume or Fred Barnes? Charles Krauthammer is really hard to type.

Technorati Tags:
Obama, stimulus package, Washington Post, Charles krauthammer, The Fierce Urgency of Pork

Insomnia...

2009-02-08T02:31:00.001-05:00

I just spent some time floating around the blogosphere. There are lots of blogs that extol the virtues of democrats and renounce all republicans as idiots. There are lots of blogs that extol the virtues of republicans and renounce all democrats as idiots. For all their opposites, they do share some things in common.

Some of the sites are really well done. Most are not.

Most of the sites (that I visited) have a lot of comments for each story.

All of these sites are dead wrong. Our current system of party politics is broken. I can find more evidence than I have time to talk about in my blog. One day, Americans will elect a group of people who are prepared to reinvent the system. We will always have two parties, or four, or some other even number. I hope for the day that politics will consist of intelligent ideological discussion and less vitriol.

Politics is the balance of conflict and compromise, not screaming insults and you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.

I'll watch. I'll wait. I won't hold my breath. Until then, porkbarrel spending and useless mudslinging will rule the scene.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, politicians suck, politics, republican, useless, wrong on so many levels

The politics of the converse...

2009-02-07T22:26:00.001-05:00

The part of the above video about which I am going to speak happens at about 5:50 and runs to the end of the clip. Part II can be found on youtube.

Barack Obama defends the stimulus package addressing a number of arguments in opposition to it. If you don't feel like watching the clip, here's the jist. I have linked it to the source.

Obama rejected calls for more tax cuts and significant slashing of the bill's more than $800 billion price tag, and said complaints the package was a spending bill rather than a stimulus bill were off base.

"What do you think a stimulus bill is?" he said. "That's the point."

Now during this point in the speech, he stopped and laughed. Since, in political-speak he has won the debate, let us engage in a moment of real-speak.

If the government wishes to attempt*** to stimulate the economy, then it must spend money. To simplify the equation...

stimulus = spending

Unfortunately, the converse of that equation is not true. Just because the government spends money, it does not mean that money will necessarily stimulate the economy...

spending ≠ stimulus

There are items in this bill that will do nothing to stimulate the economy. How long have we been working towards the switch to digital TV? There's money in the stimulus package for more converters. Coupons for those converters haven't stimulated the economy yet. They aren't likely to in the future. We'd have more money for stimulus (or spending) if we'd just make the switch and sell the 700MHz band.

Yet another reason that nobody is listening any more. Just call these line items in the stimulus package what they are.

Some is stimulus.

Some is spending.

Some is pork.

Some is waste.

***There's no guarantee this will work. Unfortunately, this stimulus package does not come with a money back if not delighted clause.

Technorati Tags:
economy, government spending, laughter, Obama, political-speak, stimulus package, useless

The politics of laughter...

2009-02-07T21:21:00.001-05:00

In political-speak, laughter has magical powers. The clip above is an exchange between Whoopi Goldberg and Sean Hannity. By the way, this clip also proves Star Trek wrong. Apparently matter and anitmatter don't explode when in the presence of each other. That's fine. I learned all my science from Doctor Who, but I digress.

A little over half way into the discourse, Hannity defends George Bush's decision to enter Iraq. Whoopi laughs uproariously and then moves on to her previous point. Now in political-speak, Whoopi won this exchange.

I wish political-speak had been the standard when I was in debate in high school. All those hours I spent doing research.

Unfortunately, this is the level of national discourse. One side makes a point. The other side laughs and moves on to another point. Then there's more laughter.

This was a nice little demonstration of why nothing useful is said in the political realm. Nobody is listening.

The appropriate sound for the end of this post can be found here.

Technorati Tags:
politics, Sean Hannity, Whoopi Goldberg, laughter, political-speak, Star Trek, Doctor Who

A case for waterboarding...

2009-02-04T21:43:00.001-05:00

Puppy Found Abandoned, Frozen to Tree

Last Edited: Wednesday, 04 Feb 2009, 4:55 PM EST

Created: Wednesday, 04 Feb 2009, 4:51 PM EST

By Paul Wagner

FOX 5 reporter

HAGERSTOWN, Md. - The Humane Society is trying to learn who abandoned a puppy on a cold winter night in Hagerstown, Maryland, leaving him helplessly stuck to a tree encased in ice.

The Shepherd mix, who is just seven weeks old, was discovered Saturday night by a woman walking her dog. She heard the pup whimpering in a wooded area behind an apartment complex.

The women told Humane Society officials the pup couldn't move. Some of his fur was frozen to a tree.

She took him to her apartment where she kept him warm, nursing him back to health. Duncan, as he is now being called, has mange but is otherwise in fairly good health.

Paul Miller, Director of the Washington County Humane Society, says someone had been taking care of the dog. Why he was abandoned is unclear. Investigators are now trying to learn who the pup belonged to, and that's a tough assignment according to Miller.

The director says it's very difficult to identify previous owners, especially if they've been abandoned in neighborhoods where no one has ever seen the dog before.

Duncan is not yet available for adoption. The Humane Society says it hopes to find a new owner for the pup in about a week.

I pasted the entire text of this short article as local sources will usually purge their articles. I have included the link for citation purposes (for as long as it lasts).

Few things piss me off more than pet abuse. I get there's a downturn in the economy. I get that people are having a hard time financially. That in no way excuses pet abandonment. Attend carefully all you morons who have or are considering dropping your pet off on a country road. Leaving a domesticated animal to fend for themselves is an idea that only a really stupid person could embrace. Your pet has been conditioned to be fed and cared for by someone. That someone is you. If you have forgotten who you are, go look in a mirror and find something with your name on it. I'll wait.

Now, past or future pet abandoner, you have reintroduced yourself to yourself and presumably taken care of your latest trail of drool. Here are some things to consider before your next attempt at pet abandonment.

For the only moderately stupid: You could quit reading blogs and use the power of Google to find an alternative. Find your local humane society. Find a rescue society. Find someone who is looking for a dog. Place a classified ad offering your pet free to a good home. I know these things take time. According to data, there is a two in three chance that you are overweight. You can live off the fat of the land for a while.

For the very stupid: Those of you who are really stupid are not only too stupid to realize I'm insulting you, but your stupid enough to think this is a good idea.........Look around you. Do you have a child in the house? It would be preferable if the child can speak, so pick the oldest one. If you stop and do what you classify as thinking you'll convince yourself that the kid is more expensive than the pet and there are more resources to care for abandoned children than abandoned pets.

Am I advocating child abuse over pet abuse? No, I'm not. However, it is much easier to find the parents of abandoned children than the owners of abandoned pets. If a stupid person abandons their child instead of their pet, they'll get found and their ass put in jail where it belongs.

It's fortunate that I am not in charge of dealing with those who abuse their pets. I would make Torquemada look like an ACLU lawyer. Were I given a free hand, I would truly make those who are cruel to their pets regret their decision. Waterboarding would be for the minor offenders.

If you can't care for your pet, find someone who can. If you don't like the way your pet turned out, it's probably your fault. You did something wrong in its upbringing. If that isn't the case, you probably got a dog from a breeder who wasn't careful with bloodlines. I have a special place in my rehabilitation facility for those people.

I own pets. I love my pets. I read stories like this and I'm sick with grief for the poor animal.

Technorati Tags:
pet cruelty, waterboarding

Daschle takes the first step from politician towards statesman...

2009-02-03T20:41:00.001-05:00

Tom Daschle, in an astounding move for a Washington politician, withdrew himself from consideration for the Health and Human Services Secretary. Personally I was shocked. HHS Secretary would have been quite a feather in the cap of a man who has boasted several accomplishments. The only thing that might have been better would have been a joint statement by both President Obama and Daschle. It would have been nice to see both of them stand behind, "change we can believe in, for Washington.

Thomas Geithner should have done the same thing.

There's enough tainted money floating around Washington. The least that could happen is that it could be taxed properly.

Technorati Tags:
politicians suck, taxes, Thomas Geithner, Tom Daschle

Simplifying the Washington Post...

2009-02-01T23:30:00.001-05:00

The Washington Post printed an article, 8 Questions on the Stimulus Package, in Saturday's paper. In the interest of saving you time. I will provide you with shorter and more simplified answers.

1. Do we really need to do this?

No. Given time, the economy would correct itself. It's a slow and painful process but our economy is self-correcting.

2. Where would the money come from?

We're going to pay the national Visa card with a cash advance from the national Master Card. That national Master Card will get paid with a cash advance from the national Discover card and so on and so forth. Keep sending us those, "You have been preapproved for...," offers. We'll be applying for all of them.

3. How quickly would the money be spent?

Just slightly faster than light travels in a vacuum.

4. How would the money be spent?

Here's a peek. I won't say that there is no good in it if you won't say there's no bad in it.

5. Where would the jobs be?

Which politicians in Washington have the most pull right now?

6. How would we know the plan was meeting its goal of saving or creating 3 to 4 million jobs?

The party in power will say it is. The opposition will say it isn't. No counting method will be deemed as trustworthy. None of the counting methods will come up with the same figure. In short, we'll never know for sure.

7. How quickly would the economy recover?

It will take about the same amount of time as it would if the stimulus package didn't happen. The package might eliminate a little of the pain of this economic downturn. However, if we remove the pain, we'll likely remove the thing that comes with pain. What was it again? It begins with a g. I just can't remember it.

8. Would this be the beginning of a new New Deal?

No. Find an American history textbook and find the chapter that comes before the chapter on World War II. You know, the one on which every American history used to end? Do your own comparison.

By the way, in case summer vacation happened before the end of that World War II chapter, we won.

Technorati Tags:
economy, useless, Washington Post, stimulus package

The twenty-eighth amendment...

2009-01-31T19:26:00.001-05:00

I don't usually favor amending the Constitution. I opposed the proposed amendment to ban flag burning. I wasn't worried about the free speech issue. I wasn't worried about any of the other concerns raised about it. Frankly, I don't care whether you burn a flag or not. Flags are cloth. If you want to burn what the flag stands for, then we need to have a conversation. Fortunately, ideas are fireproof.

Well, it's time for a new amendment. I'll let the legal eagles work out the wording but basically, I want an amendment that protects the dignity of the office of the President of the United States. With no disrespect to our president, these are the kind of things I would like to see made illegal by this amendment...

"I'll have the Barack-a-rockin' burger with a side order of Obama-rama onion rings and a large Sasha shake...."

"Celebrate this momentous moment in history by proudly wearing your Barack Obama commemorative thong...."

"You can relive that great moment in history each time you wipe with Barack Obama toilet paper. One side of each sheet is imprinted with the smiling face of our president and the other side contains a pithy quote from his historic campaign. If you order now, you will also receive a roll of Barack Obama paper towel and box of Barack Obama facial tissue. Imagine the pride you will feel each time you wipe up a spill or blow your nose."

I think you're getting the idea here. I've seen Barack Obama's face on everything from tote bags to cigarette lighters.

Barack Obama and his accomplishments are certainly something to be commemorated. However, one must not forget that he is the sitting president. The office deserves respect as does the person who holds the office so long as the person does not completely abdicate such respect. [insert your own Bill Clinton oral sex or cigar joke or George Bush verbal floundering joke here] There needs to be some restraint before the nightly news brings me photos of the Barack Obama crack pipe.

This just might mean that bloggers can no longer add horns and sinister mustache to a picture of the president and claim that they are actually the devil. That's tough. We can live without it. There can still be plenty of constructive criticism as well as downright distaste with this amendment. Someone, somewhere will likely have to give up their plans to market a line of Barack Obama Commemorative Feminine Hygiene Products.

Technorati Tags:
Constitution, Obama, useless, amendment, president, respect

Your local schools could be run by myspace...

2009-01-30T21:00:00.001-05:00

Well-Connected Parents Take On School Boards: Web-Savvy Activists Push For Educational Change. Parents are using the power of the Internet and social networking communities to effect changes in their school. I will use Clint Eastwood terms to explain this phenomenon.

The Good

1. Parents have meaningful input for the schools their children attend. They have a vested interest and, more often than not, they want what is best for their children. The parents who want good grades handed to them whether or not they actually earned them are an irritating but small minority.

2. Education can be a somewhat insular institution. Forces from within (the students themselves) and from without (No Child Left Behind) draw attention inward.

3. Parents will usually be more supportive of a school that is responsive to their needs.

The Bad

1. Education is a unique institution. There is this odd belief that because one attends school for thirteen years from kindergarten through high school, they are educational experts. I know better than this.

-I go to the dentist regularly. I don't think I'm an oral hygienist.
-I can tell time. I don't think I can build or repair a clock.
-I can eat. I can guarantee you I'm no chef.
-I can read and write. I'm not an English teacher nor could I be one.

I will continue to support this grassroots effort in school districts until it goes too far. Order of curriculum, for example, should really be left to educators.

2. Groups have the potential to become mobs. Watch out for it.

The Ugly

C'mon, folks! If all the social networking tools on the web were a human body, myspace would be an ass pimple. Parents would be much more effective with Facebook. Hell, they'd be more effective with Twitter.

Technorati Tags:
education, myspace, facebook, twitter, the good, the bad, and the ugly

I don't even know where to start with this one...

2009-01-30T20:07:00.001-05:00

Disclaimer 1: This article promotes neither the pro-choice nor pro-life movement. Try to follow the bouncing ball.

Disclaimer 2: I have two dogs and adore them. I openly do not support the organization PETA although I oppose those who mistreat animals. PETA and I draw the line of what constitutes mistreatment in two very different places. I like steak and chicken. If you kick your dog or cat, I think I should get to hit you in the face with a baseball bat. People who starve their animals and leave them locked in cages with their own waste for weeks on end should have to suffer the same fate for however long they may survive. That should give you a general idea of the difference.

Disclaimer 3: I don't care as much about the Super Bowl as a pig does about Sunday. The best thing to ever happen as a result of the Super Bowl is the movie Black Sunday.

The Super Bowl people turned down an ad which promotes the pro-life cause on the grounds that they have decided not to air political or advocacy ads. I don't know if that reason is bull or not. I also don't care.

I'm glad they're not airing the commercial because, and only because, I hate poorly supported arguments. The ad outlines the life of Barack Obama and then points out that despite all this hardship, he grows up to become the first African-American president of the United States. The supposed moral of this story: no matter how hard the child's life may be, abortion isn't a good choice because you don't know what the child may go on to do. I've heard this one before except in that story you're killing Ludwig von Beethoven by choosing abortion.

The trick with these stories is to paint a bleak picture of what a child's future would look like if born. The idea being that when someone says, "Do you think this is a good case for abortion," they can spring the end of the story on you. This is an unconvincing argument for the following reason...

Child is going to be born into a violent family situation and have a difficult childhood. Good case for abortion? No? Damn! You just missed killing Adolf Hitler.

What about the child who is born to an young, unwed mother but eventually has a stable childhood including a step family and strong church involvement? The child is shy and awkward but does graduate high school and go on to college. Are you convinced an abortion is a good idea here? Pity! Ted Bundy lives on.

The argument isn't bad, it's just very weak. It invites being shot full of holes. Both sides of this debate have significantly better arguments in their arsenal. This argument is like marching toward a machine gun nest with nothing but a pitchfork.

This story has another side.

The organization that tried to get this ad aired became irritated when the Super Bowl people said they would air an ad by PETA if they would tone down the sexuality of the ad. There goes no advocacy ads. The PETA ad is stupid. It's 30 seconds of my life I'll never get back and I resent it even more than the two hours I lost watching Fight Club. Find it on YouTube yourself. I'm not even posting a link. The part that bugged me was when Brian Burch, who favored the pro-life ad said, "NBC claims it doesn’t allow advocacy ads, but that’s not true. They were willing to air an ad by PETA if they would simply tone down the sexual suggestiveness. Our ad is far less provocative, and hardly controversial by comparison,”

Burch is absolutely right. The Obama-fetus ad is far less sexually provocative than the PETA ad. Burch is absolutely wrong. The Obama-fetus ad is far more controversial. Let's check the scorecard.

How many times has someone tried to damage or destroy an abortion clinic?
How many times has someone tried to damage or destroy a vegetarian restaurant?
How many doctors who work at abortion clinics been assaulted or killed?
How many chefs who work at vegetarian restaurants been assaulted or killed?

Who dislikes each other more, the people on either side of the pro-choice, pro-life debate or the carnivores vs. the vegetarians?

Mr. Burch, the ad for which you advocate touches a much hotter topic.

A note from the author...

Dear Gentle Reader,

I do not advocate violence being done to those who are pro-choice or pro-life. I do not favor violence being done to either people who eat animal products or people who don't eat animal products. I do not advocate violence being done to the place any of these people work or live.

Furthermore, I do not advocate hitting a person who abuses an animal with a baseball bat. If a baseball bat is unavailable, a golf club, tennis racquet, or axe handle will suffice nicely.

Sincerely,

This post is based on the article, NBC rejects anti-abortion Super Bowl ad that features Obama as unborn child found on the website therawstory dated Friday, January 30, 2009.

Technorati Tags:
Super Bowl ad, abortion, PETA, pro-choice, pro-life

The Number 23...

2009-01-28T18:15:00.001-05:00

I watched The Number 23 today. I won't be running to the store to buy the DVD so I can watch it over and over again. But I'm glad I watched it for several reasons.

1. Virginia Madsen is in it. She is on my list of five. She's #1 in case you're curious.

2. Jim Carrey was in it. I don't like Jim Carrey except in movies where he isn't always the stereotypical Jim Carrey. This movie really showed his range, even more so than The Truman Show.

3. It wasn't one of those, "There's two hours of my life that I'll never get back," movies of which they make way too many.

Technorati Tags:
The Number 23, Virginia Madsen, Jim Carrey, "list of five"

Three short months later...

2009-01-28T17:33:00.001-05:00

It has been three short months since I had the idea, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun to have a blog." I was motivated by a friend who keeps a couple of blogs of her own. Let's just say I wanted to be cool like her. And pale imitation is the greatest form of chasing but not catching cool.

It's been an interesting experience so far to say the least. Most of the time, it's fun. Sometimes it's a little hard to find something about which I'd like to write. Usually I find it a challenge to put into words what I am really thinking. Challenges are good things. They exercise the mind. Besides, since I can't actually reach out and shake anyone by the collar until they come to their senses without an assault charge or the wrath of the secret service, it's better that I blog.

In this first three months, I have written forty-four blog entries. This works out to about one every other day. This means sometimes I wrote two in a day because there are stretches without many entries. I call that stretch December.

Most of my entries have been on topic. A few have strayed. Some are serious. Some aren't. A few are really good. Most are, generously speaking, just fair.

Google Analytics tells me that I have had 141 unique visitors to my website. It also tells me that the average time on my site is just over four minutes. This means that most of these people came to my site, realized it wasn't what they were looking for, and moved on. Most people visit my site only once. I'm far from surprised.

During my blogging time, I have watched some interesting treads in politics.

1. Since I've been watching politics more carefully and reading a little more for blog fodder, I've noticed how much things are really the same since my first interest in politics during the Reagan/Mondale election. Different names but basically the same bread and circuses.

2. I've watched Barack Obama go from being a foregone conclusion to being our first African-American president.

3. I've watched the Democratic Party avoid their mistakes at the beginning of the Clinton administration and not act like children in an unsupervised candy store. Time will tell how long this lasts. Both parties tend toward this effect if they win big. The longer they can stay away from it, the longer they'll remember why they got tired of the republicans.

4. I've watched the Republican Party begin the slow, painful journey from the party of, "Put the flag and the match down and back away slowly," and, "Just what are you doing in that bedroom," to the party of low taxes and small government that tends to be what resonates with voters when they get tired of the democrats.

5. I've watched yet another change of parties in the White House herald a new era. Later on I'll be able to point out that, yet again, it didn't happen. When will people realize that our government system in its current form is designed from the ground up for business as usual and change is not going to come from one person, even the one at the top?

Despair, Inc. has so many wise things to say in poster, et. al. form.

After three months, I feel it is time to evaluate the reason for which I write this blog. I enjoy writing this blog whether or not anyone is actually reading it. I confess to being jazzed that people are actually finding it regardless of whether or not they stay to read it. I plan to continue trying to find someone who will stop long enough to read and understand that there aren't going to be any great things coming from government until there is a fundamental change in the people who make up the government. As long as our government is comprised of politicians, we're doomed to the same old, same old.

I'll continue to write about other things as they interest me so nobody can read about that as well.

I promise I won't put things in my blog just to drive traffic to my site, rather like when John Dvorak says something uncomplimentary about Apple, Inc. just to draw hits to his website.

That said, and as a parting comment...

Barack Obama Sucks...

Barack Obama sucks popsicles because no matter how well one cares for their teeth, most adults have some sensitivity to cold and therefore most don't bite and chew popsicles.

Barack Obama sucks Tootsie Pops because that's how suckers are supposed to be consumed.

Barack Obama sucks honeycrisp apples when he bites into them because they are extraordinarily juicy.

Barack Obama sucks beverages through a straw when he uses a straw because that's just how they work.

Barack Obama sucks air into his lungs because air contains the vital component, oxygen.

Technorati Tags:
blog, change, democrat, government reform, Obama, politicians suck, politics, republican, Apple, Inc., Barack Obama Sucks, anniversary

I'm glad I didn't go...

2009-01-27T17:26:00.001-05:00

Nancy Franklin wrote an article for the New Yorker called, "A Place Called Hope." The article discusses the wall to wall, ceiling to floor, end to end, from here to there coverage the cable news networks gave the inauguration of Barack Obama. Her premise was, for everything she was able to see with the TV coverage, she felt disconnected from it by distance. Her article ends with, "By watching it on TV, I’d missed it."

I watched Obama being sworn into office. I had no intention of watching his address as I mentioned in a previous post. I'm glad those who wanted to go went. I feel badly for those, like Franklin, who wished they had gone and didn't for whatever reason. I watched history as it was made. I watched it on television. I'm glad I did.

Here's what I did not miss by choosing TV over the 20 minute car ride, a metro ride, and a two mile walk. Yes, I live that close.

1. Cold for which even my midwestern blood is not equipped.
2. Long lines at the portapotty for which my aging bladder is ill equipped.
3. A dearth of hot coffee which I refuse to even imagine.
4. Long periods of standing to which my flat feet would react badly.
5. Extremely large crowds which make me uncomfortable.
6. An opportunity to read the inaugural address instead of not hearing it well over a public address system.

and finally...

7. All that political commentary that I find so very funny.

If I had a machine to travel through time, I would take Ms. Franklin back and she could take another swing at going to the inauguration. As it stands, I can't. At least not yet...

Technorati Tags:
inauguration, Obama, The New Yorker, time travel

Terrorists have learned the lessons of American politics well...

2009-01-26T21:50:00.001-05:00

Since 9/11, al-Queda has not had a successful attack in the United States. Since terrorist isn't working out so well for them, they are taking a swing at being politicians. Lacking anything substantive, al-Queda has resorted to hurling insults at President Obama. I won't dignify what they're saying by repeating any of it.

What strikes me about this is that if these people were politicians, this would be called a smear campaign. It would be spoken poorly of in the press but would be reported on as a legitimate tool of a campaign. As it stands, they are nothing but terrorists looking to gain some support. They don't balk at the free press either.

I don't think politicians are terrorists. I don't think terrorists are politicians. I think both choose the same tactics for not terribly dissimilar reasons.

Technorati Tags:
politicians suck, politics, useless, insult, al-Queda, smear campaign

Experience apparently outweighs paying your taxes on time...

2009-01-26T21:20:00.001-05:00

The Senate confirmed Timothy Geithner. Apparently, the Senate was impressed with his experience enough to overlook his shortcomings with the 1040 form.

Experience is not to be overlooked. However, experience is not always a good qualifier. I have a lot of experience at Desktop Tower Defense. I've spent more hours than I would care to admit with the game. After all this "experience" with the game, I still can't beat the blasted thing on the hard difficulty level.

When you permit yourself to be considered for Treasury Secretary, you are choosing the expert level of play. Experience is one thing. Ability is another. Let's hope his tax shortcomings are not an indication of his ability.

Technorati Tags:
taxes, Thomas Geithner, Treasury Secretary

Even Executive Orders Can Be Ruined by Politics...

2009-01-25T21:31:00.002-05:00

Have you ever read an executive order? I haven't until just today. They have their own section on the White House's website.

Obama issued two executive orders on his first full day as president. He didn't issue any on the 20th. Apparently the parties kept him busy.

The first one was on Presidential Records. Apparently they're all public now and can't be un-public-ed. It took a lot of words to say that and frankly, once I started reading it, my head began to hurt. Apparently I can't handle political doublespeak.

The second order was an ethics pledge that new appointees must take. It lists a pile of things that appointees can't do. It seems designed to keep current and former appointees from using their current and former appointments for personal gain. It sounds really good until you read section three. The text appears below.

Sec. 3. Waiver.

(a) The Director of the Office of Management and Budget, or his or her designee, in consultation with the Counsel to the President or his or her designee, may grant to any current or former appointee a written waiver of any restrictions contained in the pledge signed by such appointee if, and to the extent that, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, or his or her designee, certifies in writing (i) that the literal application of the restriction is inconsistent with the purposes of the restriction, or (ii) that it is in the public interest to grant the waiver. A waiver shall take effect when the certification is signed by the Director of the Office of Management and Budget or his or her designee.

(b) The public interest shall include, but not be limited to, exigent circumstances relating to national security or to the economy. De minimis contact with an executive agency shall be cause for a waiver of the restrictions contained in paragraph 3 of the pledge.

Read it carefully. This is loophole that you could fly a zeppelin through.

Politics can take the best intentioned idea and completely render it irrelevant. Q.E.D.

Technorati Tags:
politics, useless, executive order

Barack Obama intends to EXTERMINATE...

2009-01-24T01:19:00.002-05:00

That's it! I have had it. I hate politicians and am now resoundingly reminded why. I tried to be fair and even handed and point out how the opposition was wrong and stupid to think that Obama wasn't president. But now I guess I have to regret that action.

My new washingtonpost.com widget has just showed me the headline, "Jarrett Will Represent Obama in Davros..." something. I guess the widget cuts off the end of long titles. I'm sure it ends with something like alliance, or union, or his swearing unwavering loyalty. It's just terrible.

I don't know who this Jarrett person is I know who Davros is. Davros is the Kaled from the planet Skaro. He is an evil genius who created the Daleks. He is a homicidal maniac, a meglomaniac, insane, and any other really, really bad thing you can think of off the top of your head. And Obama is in league with him or soon will be.

Davros' creation, the Daleks, are one of the most fear terrors in the universe. Their quest for domination of the universe and the destruction of everything they consider less perfect than themselves. Apparently Obama intends rid the world of everybody but himself and those he considers worthy of survival. Well, we now know what our president truly has in mind for us.

Oh, wait a minute. It's not Davros, it's Davos. No "r". Hold on a sec. Maybe I should read the article after all. Please hold.

Back.

Davos is apparently a city in Switzerland. Jarrett is a friend of Obama. He's sending her, probably at great expense, to some World Economic Forum where a bunch of rich people get together. That's just great. A bunch of rich people mixed with politicians sitting around planning out what they think is best for us.

It's even worse than I thought.

Technorati Tags:
Obama, Davros, Daleks, Valerie Jarrett, World Economic Forum

For once and for all, Obama has been president since his first swing at the oath of office on Tuesday...

2009-01-22T22:12:00.001-05:00

I want to settle this once and for all since my favorite source of news, Stephen Colbert, messed it up. I'm seeing news figures like Colbert and the unfunny ones mess this up since Tuesday.

First, we need to be clear on one point. Yes, he did need to take the oath. The Constitution requires it, period. Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution states:

Before he enters on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation: -- "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

That should settle it. The Constitution says it and that has not been superseded by any of the amendments.

Second, Obama retook the oath because it was prudent, although entirely unnecessary. It eliminates distracting discussion. There is no place in the Constitution that says his election is invalid because he didn't get it perfect the first time. He got it perfect the second time. Case closed.

Third, the Constitution does not specify that a Bible must be used in the ceremony. Obama didn't use one the second time around and it doesn't matter. He didn't need to use one. Lyndon Johnson, perhaps in haste, took the oath with his hand on a Roman missal upon the death of John F. Kennedy. A Roman missal isn't even considered a sacred book by Catholics. Nevertheless, Johnson was president.

Fourth, and this is where Colbert blew it and prompted this entry. There is no place in the Constitution that indicates a time when the President-elect poofs and becomes President. The oft misquoted twentieth amendment specifies the end of a presidential term, not the beginning of one. If you don't understand this, go back and reread my first point.

Fifth, and don't underestimate the importance of this, Obama is not the first president to have a do over of the oath. Both Chester A. Arthur and Calvin Coolidge repeated the oath after the first taking. Both of these men were our president during their term of office.

Did Obama mess up the oath the first time? Yes.
Did it prevent Obama from assuming the presidency? No.
Did he get the oath right the second time? Yes.
Did he legally need to retake the oath? No.
Was retaking the oath the right move? Yes.
Did he need a bible for the do over? No.

Barack Obama is the sitting president of the United States. He has been since he flubbed the oath a minute or so after noon on Tuesday. Now get over it.

Technorati Tags:
Obama, oath of office, Constitution, twentieth amendment

An inaugural speech breakdown...

2009-01-21T23:45:00.001-05:00

Below is Barack Obama's inaugural speech. My comments are placed inline.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

He didn't sacrifice the dignity of his position just to make some snide comment about his predecessor. I thought this was classy.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath.

Forty-three Americans have taken the presidential oath. Barack Obama is the forty-fourth president, however Grover Cleveland's two terms as president are broken up by the presidency of Benjamin Harrison. Therefore, Cleveland is both our 22nd and 24th president. He does not, however, count as two Americans. Barack Obama is the 44th president and the 43rd American to take the oath.

The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often, the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

It would have better been stated, "America has carried on usually in spite of those in high office. It has been because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals...."

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

There's a lot of obvious in this paragraph. The truth here is buried in the middle. The words, "our collective failure," carries in it a lot of truth. Americans not only have problems, Americans are the problem. As a country, we have to make some hard decisions and it would be wise if we didn't leave these decisions to our elected representatives (i.e. politicians). We need to force these people to represent us and our best interests and not just blandly sit back and say, "The government will take care of us."

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable, but no less profound, is a sapping of confidence across our land, a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights.

It was very smart to not say that we must lower our sights. That was Carter's line. History does not remember him kindly for it.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real, they are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America: They will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

It's not bad material but it's just rhetoric.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics.

Good luck with that. We've heard it before. It hasn't happened yet. If you can pull it off, then you are the miracle worker that some say you are.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

A better rewording: Time to get up off your collective behind and start holding our feet to the fire. Make your representatives actually represent you. Vote us out of office when we engage in the usual politics. Call for our removal from office when we do something stupid. Don't let us be the idiots we've been for far too long.

By the way, there are a slew of other countries that are younger than we are. In the great scheme of the world, we're closer to middle aged.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the fainthearted, for those who prefer leisure over work or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things -- some celebrated, but more often men and women obscure in their labor -- who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

What I said in the last paragraph I'm just rephrasing here.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West, endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died in places like Concord and Gettysburg, Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again, these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions, greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

When you want to inspire people, talk about the people who came before us.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin again the work of remaking America.

The first half is a three-syllable chantable: U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
The second half: Brace yourself for I have big ideas. Fear not, they'll get lost in that partisan bickering I said was coming to an end.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of our economy calls for action bold and swift. And we will act not only to create new jobs but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its costs. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

OK, let's break this down. We're going to do something hasty, and probably ill-advised, to fix the economy (you know how government works). Then we're going to be Romans. The Romans were great road builders. I suppose if there was electricity and Internet in Julius Caesar's time, it would have been really great too. Then we are going to be like a cheesy 1950's science fiction movie and employ super science to solve our problems. Then we're going to add a solar panel, a sail, and some potting soil to our cars. Finally, we're going to get a new buggy whip and see if we can't get just a few more laps out of the dead horse that is our educational system.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage.

It was not so terribly long ago that this nation mobilized its full efforts to achieve a goal. Why did we work so hard to put a man on the moon? Boy, did we love Kennedy. Shortly before that, we mobilized our full efforts to achieve another goal. Why did we work so hard to win World War II? Boy, were we pissed off about Pearl Harbor. And boy, we really hated Nazis. What's going to be our big motivator this time? Boy, we really miss easily obtainable consumer credit?

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works, whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's knowledge will be held to account, to spend wisely, reform bad habits and do our business in the light of day, because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Cynic is a term invented by idealists to insult realists. You're overstating here, Mr. President. The ground hasn't shifted yet. I do not underestimate the position you have in history. You have a real shot here. You could fix this political system that can only be described as busted. Your election didn't cause this. Neither did your inauguration. Your actions going forward might be worthy of this paragraph.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched. But this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control. The nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart -- not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

Yes, the market is good. A watchful eye is good too. A too watchful eye can be stifling. Let's not go overboard on this one.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use. Our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy; guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort, even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We'll begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we'll work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life; nor will we waver in its defense. And for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken. You cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

I've heard most of this before. Several times. I'd quote it but I'm too tired to chase down citations for my déjà vu.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth. And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

If we're not going to be a melting pot anymore, could we at least find a better term than patchwork?

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history, but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

Please remember the phrase, "Easier said than done," before you get too far into this.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders, nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

This is ambitious.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service: a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment, a moment that will define a generation, it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

God bless our troops.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job, which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new, the instruments with which we meet them may be new, but those values upon which our success depends -- honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed, why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall. And why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day in remembrance of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by nine campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested, we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

Most of the rest of this is fluffy rhetoric. It's respectable fluffy rhetoric, but it is nevertheless fluffy.

For all the fun I had poking at this speech, it was a good speech. It wasn't all fluffy rhetoric. I can forgive some fluff because it can't be avoided. It's an occupational hazard. It would have been a great speech if it went just one step further by not only pointing to Americans as the problem, but pointing to Americans as complicit in the biggest problem with this country, the American political system and the politicians that comprise it.

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Obama, inauguration speech

Thank you, President Bush...

2009-01-20T21:25:00.003-05:00

Dear Mr. Bush,

I want to take this time to thank you for following an important tradition of your 42 predecessors. Unlike too many other world leaders, you did not call out the military at the end of your term of office, explaining that there were a few important items that needed tending and only you could handle them followed by a vague promise of a return to free elections soon.

There are those who would snivel that if you had called the army out, you are so unpopular that they would not have heeded your call. That may or may not be true. It is also not the point. You didn't make the call and for that I am grateful.

While you're following the traditions set forth by your predecessors, please read my earlier post and retire completely to private life. Show up for state events to which you are invited, smile, wave, look dignified but not bored (I know that's hard) and then go home.

Respectfully,

Gridlock Reigns

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George W. Bush, Thank You

Barack Obama should not be our first African-American president (and other rants)...

2009-01-20T18:08:00.001-05:00

This transition of power irritated me on so many levels. I didn't watch a lot of the lead-up coverage. I did watch him being sworn in. I didn't watch his speech. I read it later for the same reason I don't watch Steve Jobs' keynotes. I don't want the content colored by the delivery. That was about all I could take of spectacle. My irritation kept me from most of the event. Here's what bothers me about the whole deal.

Where's the outrage that he's our first African-American president?

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 is 45 years old (or will be on its birthday this July. The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified 99 years before that. That's 144 years during which the fine people of the United States couldn't get their act together and get over race-based bigotry. I'm an American. I'm proud I'm an American. But I'm not ashamed to say that we have a large, hairy wart on our nose.

That said, Barack Obama should not be our first African-American president. He should be our second, perhaps our third, African-American president.

Could we possibly have commercialized this a little bit more?

Is there anything on which imprinting our president's face is beneath dignity? I am proud to say that I have not joined the throngs of people who bought anything they could lay their hand on that had Obama's face on it. I don't have a picture of Obama as the wallpaper on my iPhone. That is reserved for my dogs (a fact that has not escaped the attention of my wife). I don't have the canvas bag that they sold at the National Mall with a big picture of Obama on it. The Franklin Mint should not expect a call from me. If offered, I will not be purchasing the Barack Obama commemorative paper towels or toilet paper if anyone is stupid enough and offensive enough to make them. However, I'm certain that many will be purchasing the official Obama Inauguration Certificate of Attendance for only $14.95. Now the ad in the Washington Post says they're $19.95. That's awfully quick to lower the price. I don't think they're selling like hot cakes. Perhaps they should have followed Geico's example and gotten Mrs. Butterworth to sponsor the product.

More people need to recognize what's really going on here?

George Bush is a very unpopular president for reasons he both does and does not deserve. However, what we should be celebrating here is not that Barack Obama has come to save us all from all the evils visited upon us by former president Bush. What we are celebrating here is that the United States has finally elected the best candidate in spite of the color of his skin. We have our first African-American president...finally! Let's not overstate what's happening here because the expectations of this man are outgrowing what any person could possibly fulfill. Please realize that Barack Obama is a human being working within a broken system. The expectations of him are growing into a gigantic letdown later on down the road.

Why are people pinning so many of their hopes on this man?

Think back to all of the best things that happened in your life? I think back on mine. There was meeting and marrying my wife. There was the day I got my first job. There was the birth of my niece and nephew. There were a lot of other things and what makes them all alike is that none of them emanated from government. I bet if you think back, you'll find the same thing to be true.

Did we forget he's a politician?

My feelings on politicians are sufficiently well explained in this blog. I respect the man for his accomplishments. I respect him in the office he holds because he is the president. I have no respect for his chosen profession. He has chosen a path that requires him to promise many things. These promises break down as follows:

70%: Never had any intention of pursuing these promises.

10%: Would like to do but will get killed because he has 535 other politicians, lobbyists, and worst of all, his own party leadership to deal with.

10%: Will get accomplished but will be so mutilated by pork, compromise, concessions, and the usual machinations of politics.

10%: Won't have time for because he'll only be president eight years.

I hope Obama is a successful president. We can't afford a failure. In the end, no matter how successful he is, he will likely be like any other president. He will be blamed things he didn't cause. He will be credited for things he didn't accomplish. The distant eyes of history will look upon him differently than we will during the next eight years. Just don't expect miracles. They don't come from Washington.

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change, obama, politicians suck, politics, inauguration

Barack Obama needs to eat more meals with his children...

2009-01-19T16:26:00.001-05:00

In the January 18, 2009 issue of Parade Magazine, Barack Obama shares with the world (or at least Parade Magazine's readership and those who find the article reprinted on the web) a letter to his children, Malia and Sasha.

I think an article in the Columbia Journalism Review really hit the nail on the head. The article point specifically to the third from last paragraph of the letter. It is quoted below for the convenience of the one person who might accidently read this.

"I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you’ve had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential."

While you're at it girls, could you possibly invent faster than light travel and overcome Newton's first law?

While suggesting a parent has made an error in the way they deal with their children is treacherous ground at best, when one purposefully makes their parenting a matter of public record, it invites comment and criticism. This is a lot to place on the shoulders of two girls who aren't even in high school yet. However bright, energetic, and intelligent they may be (I'm assuming very to all three since I don't know), let them be children before they are expected to tackle the problems of the world.

So, Malia and Sasha, my unsolicited advice is this... Before you hitch yourself to the great train America, please take the time to do the following...

Read some books that interest you.

Learn long division if you haven't already.

Have a crush.

Frantically collect something that you will lose interest in next month.

You get the idea. I'm sure you'll be better than I at coming up with a few more to enjoy. And please enjoy them. Childhood, for all its heartaches and pitfalls, is precious and short.

Photo by Callie Shell

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open letter, Parade Magazine, sasha obama, malia obama, childhood, Columbia Journalism Review

On Apple Computer...

2009-01-18T23:28:00.001-05:00

There has been a lot of press regarding Apple's Steve Jobs since he announced his leave of absence.

There are three central questions that have been flying about since this happened.

1. Was Steve Jobs' health a private matter and not anyone's business?

2. Can Apple continue without Steve Jobs?

3. Will Apple go out of business after Steve Jobs?

The answer to these questions is, "No, yes, and probably, respectively." Let me explain why.

Let me break it down for you.

Is Steve Jobs health a private matter?

Steve Jobs is the founder and CEO of Apple Computer. He is widely recognized as a driving force at Apple Computer as well as one of the greatest pitch men in the industry. Most importantly, Apple is a publicly held company. The health of such an integral member of its management is a matter of public interest.

Disclosure: I own Apple Stock.

Can Apple continue without Steve Jobs?

Apple has 23 billion dollars in cash. It has no debt. Children practically pop out of the womb wanting an iPod. Apple has a sufficiently deep bench to prevent Apple from being a one act circus. Johnathan Ive is still there. He's the guy who gave us the iPod, et. al.

Will Apple go out of business after Steve Jobs?

I'm sure at some point in the future, Apple Computer will close its doors. I couldn't tell you why. Maybe it will be after the war with the super intelligent computers when we decide nobody should make computers anymore. Who knows? On the other hand, maybe Steve Jobs is like the Dread Pirate Roberts. Maybe every few years somebody new is dressed up in a black turtleneck and Apple will live forever. I actually stole that idea from Andy Ihnatko. I wish I had thought of it but didn't.

I lived through a decade where it wasn't easy being an Apple user. The company was mismanaged. The product line was downright byzantine. Everyone said that Apple would be gone in a year. I survived that round of incorrect speculation. I'll make it through this one. So will Apple.

Image of Steve Jobs by Matthew Yohe

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apple computer, steve jobs

Settling in for a long inauguration weekend nap...

2009-01-17T20:16:00.001-05:00

I live in the vicinity of Washington D.C. At least, I live between the National Mall and the most distant hotel that charged an exorbitant rate and required a four night stay. I thought it might be a good idea to steer clear of the crowds. I don't do crowds. So I've stocked the homestead with food, got a old TV miniseries on TV, and settled in for a quiet weekend. One way or another, I think the best seat to watch the inauguration will be in the living room. My living room has recliners that look a lot more comfortable than the folding chairs they are setting out. My living room is looking to also be about 30 degrees warmer.

"Nobody goes there no more; it's too crowded!"

Yogi Berra

I've been mildly worried in the back of my head that turnout for this historic inauguration may be curtailed by the stories of just how many people are rumored to be attending. It probably won't turn out that way. At any rate, the mild concern reminded me of a Yogi Berra quote of which I'm quite fond.

"The vulgar crowd values friends according to their usefulness."

Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)

On Tuesday, the United States will inaugurate a very popular man to the presidency. He's had a few detractors that we will simply refer to as the usual suspects, but overall he's gotten press better than I expect Christ to get at the Second Coming. I hope he pulls of really big things. He has a lot to live up to.

Let's hope nobody gets hurt in this party atmosphere. I'll be safely locked away at home.

Change We Can Believe In apparently includes a new bedskirt and settee in the master bedroom...

2009-01-15T21:26:00.001-05:00

"Scratch a conservative and you find someone who prefers the past over any future. Scratch a liberal and find a closet aristocrat."

God Emperor of Dune (1981) by Frank Herbert

The Obamas have secured Michael S. Smith as interior decorator to redecorate the private rooms of the White House. This is a good move for a person who fancies himself a man of the people. That is, if 'the people' are Steven Spielberg, Dustin Hoffman, and Cindy Crawford.

The champion of The Change We Need really needs to break away from this up to $100,000 stipend every four years for redecorating. Hey, if he doesn't take it, he doesn't have to pay taxes on it. Why doesn't the president join us in the austerity this economy has brought upon us.

Now that would be an example of change we can believe in. I want Obama to eliminate all the Washington bull, not embrace it. Guess that's not going to happen.

Obama is currently enjoying superstar popularity. I guess this move fits after all.

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Do not go gentle into that good night...

2009-01-14T23:37:00.001-05:00

Dylan Thomas is a fine poet, or so people say. I have no particular taste for poetry. I have no issues with him but some people should really ignore his advice. I know the poem is about death. In this particular case, I will apply this phrase to political death as I am not interested in wishing physical death on anyone.

The following people should ignore this advice and allow themselves to sink into obscurity. They should do it quietly. They should take whatever joy they wish from their time in the limelight and accept that they have had their full portion and not seek more.

George W. Bush

You've been president for eight years now. Very soon you will be moving out of one of the coolest houses in the world. Spend your last few days enjoying the amenities of the White House. Have very complicated dishes. Take a joyride in Marine One. Then go on to do what most presidents wisely did. Disappear from the national scene altogether. We should not hear from you for many years until your hopefully peaceful passing at which point you are entitled to a kickass state funeral.

Sarah Palin

You had your chance. You blew it. You have become the poster child for the benefits of doing your homework the night before. There is nothing to be served by staying on the national stage. There is just too much file footage that your apologists can't explain away. The only reason that the Republican party would run you against Obama is...

1. He's so popular that they just don't want to put a lot of effort into 2012.

2. He really is the risen Messiah and he has been declared king.

3. The economy shows no sign of turning around and they're going to let the democrats take the heat for four more years.

4. Everyone else has come to their senses and decided that politics is a game for liars and white collar criminals and have chosen a more noble profession like...well...any other legal activity that one engages in to make a living.

Ruth Marcus

Anyone who talks like this shouldn't be in a Cabinet position. She should be teaching master classes in appearing before senate subcommittees.

Arne Duncan

The Department of Education should go as I discussed in a previous post. We can start with you.

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When you ought to get a little help from a friend...

2009-01-14T23:18:00.001-05:00

This blog is going to get tricky. Very soon the risen Lord and savior will become our sitting president. I'm going to have to be cautious. Fortunately nobody really reads this blog anyway. I'm still going to be cautious in case someone does.

Obama's choice for Treasury Secretary, Timothy F. Geithner, apparently made some errors in filing is federal income taxes. He's paid the back taxes and the penalties and all is forgiven. I'm happy for him. I hope things go as well with me if I ever run afoul of the IRS.

We exist in a political world where as soon as someone is nominated for anything, there is a witch hunt in which any little piece of dirt is found and put under a huge magnifying glass so that it can be all out of proportion. Sometimes the concerns are valid. Sometimes they are not. Geithner has a valid concern but not the one that his opponents are trumpeting.

I don't think Geithner is a tax cheat. I really don't think he was trying to evade paying what the law stipulated he owed in taxes. I honestly believe he made a boo boo on his 1040 or whatever of the myriad forms on which he blew it.

Here's my problem: He's slated to be the Treasury Secretary. One of his responsibilities is formulating and recommending tax policy to the president. I do not want a person formulating tax policy to recommend to the president who isn't smart enough to say, "I have a complicated tax situation. Perhaps I should hire someone who specializes in such things to manage my finances." Many people do.

I don't expect a Treasury Secretary to have perfect knowledge of the tax code. The president has advisors, one will likely be Geithner unfortunately. He will have people to advise him. He should have had one a few years ago.

Oh, and for crying out loud, hire a nanny from a service.

One wonders why these issues crop up with nominees. The answer is simple. Politicians are fundamentally flawed creatures. If you are interested in working for one closely, you must also be a fundamentally flawed creature.

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obama, politics, taxes, thomas geithner, politicians suck

Selling your soul to the devil...

2009-01-11T02:10:00.001-05:00

I saw the movie Primary Colors again this afternoon. The movie is more poignant now than it was when it was released in 1998. Now we don't have to wonder about how much John Travolta was trying to be a caricature of Clinton. I don't care. There need be no more discussion about just how much Emma Thompson was trying to look like Hillary Clinton. It doesn't matter. Now the truth in the movie can stand on its own and those who liked Clinton need no longer be offended because it is sufficiently separated by time.

Watching Emma Thompson explain to Kathy Bates why they had to compromise their values after talking the whole movie about not running a negative campaign and release the dirt they had found on Larry Hagman showed a truth of American politics. If you want to succeed in politics, you have to sell your soul to the devil. The points she made about the republicans or the press outing it if they didn't doesn't make her case. It just proves that republicans and democrats are ladles dipped from the same barrel of sludge.

But Stanton didn't leak the information to the press. He gave the only copy to Picker.

That was touching but irrelevant. The minute Libby was sent on her way to find the information, the contract was signed. Giving it to Picker instead of the press just goes to prove a politician can't even keep a promise to the Lord of the Underworld.

Seeing Henry standing and shaking hands with Stanton at the Inaugural Ball was just sad.

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democrat, politics, republican, Primary Colors

Middle East Conflict, part MMMCCXCVII...

2009-01-11T00:20:00.001-05:00

Reading about the conflict in the Middle East is a mind boggling experience. It seems that too many people are trying to confuse the issue. The issue is really very simple. God made the region holy to too many different people who don't like each other all that much. I've done some digging down into the history of the region. The history is even more confusing than news agencies want to make the conflict to be. Since I wasn't interested in putting too much effort into the study, I decided that my primary source would be Scholastic Magazine. Since their audience is children, I figured that the read wouldn't be too taxing. The timeline of the region they wrote up was pretty interesting. Not only was it interesting, but it met my requirement of being not too taxing mentally.

The most telling part of the history is that the two people who really want to control it has spent very little time or never controlling it. Prior to the creation of the state of Israel, it was a British Mandate. Before that, it was the Ottomans. Before that, it was the Arab Caliphs. Before that, it was the Byzantine Empire. Before that, it was the Romans. You get the idea. The Holy to too many people Land is one of the great world crossroads. It has spent most of its history under the control of some distant or not so terribly distant empire builder.

The big mistake was actually giving it to one of the groups that consider it holy. My solution to this problem is simple. Give it to a neutral party that will turn the place into that which the peacemakers haven't even aspired.

Yes, yes, I know. Euro Disney was the joke of its time. Well, I think this could be a real hit. Think about what the region is like now. Who better than Disney to make it into what everyone would really like it to be...The Happiest Place on Earth.

Technorati Tags:
Holy Land, Disney, Mid East Conflict, Israel, Palestinian, Happiest Place on Earth

A plea for veracity shouted into the uncaring wind...

2009-01-09T22:48:00.001-05:00

The talking heads are missing the point. None of the talking heads disagree that some of what Obama is promising as tax cuts are going to people who don't pay taxes. They'll receive larger subsidy checks from the government. One side calls it welfare. The other side keeps explaining why they need these subsidy checks.

I don't know whether welfare is the right term or not. I don't know who they are, so I don't know if they need larger subsidy checks or not. That's another discussion and not relevant to my point.

Here's my point...

A tax cut reduces the level of tax one pays. If one does not pay taxes, then one cannot receive a tax cut. Instead of calling your plan a, "tax cut plan," our useless politicians could say, "we have a plan that will reduce taxes for some and will provide larger subsidies for others." It's longer and has more syllables but it does have the benefit of being the truth.

I know why our delightful politicians don't do this. They're liars by nature. They call the entire plan a tax cut leaving out portions of the truth because it will look better in a headline in the New York Times or someone's RSS feed. Things change. They also remain the same.

If you are waiting for a new era in politics, you have been given ample warning that you aren't going to get one.

Technorati Tags:
economy, politics, taxes

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change

When Andy Warhol said everyone will have 15 minutes of fame, that was apparently an average...

2009-01-09T21:44:00.002-05:00

Joe the Plumber, whose 15 minutes were more than expended during the 2008 presidential campaign, is headed to the Middle East to become a war correspondent. He says he's going there to deliver the Israeli perspective. I think I've heard an adequate amount of both sides of that argument from the boring media. I won't hear what he says unless Stewart or Colbert report on him because I'm just not that curious.

What isn't being reported on are the others that are going to the Middle East to provide their unique perspective.

Bob the Builder will be reporting on the effects of rockets and mortars on the buildings. He'll be lending a hand in the reconstruction effort. He's going to go against the grain and build quick with cheap materials because the stuff he builds will only need to last a week or so until the next rocket, or mortar, or car bomb, or whatever knocks it down again.

Dora the Explorer will be going there on a peace mission. By teaching them basic Spanish expressions, along with math skills and music in a very interactive environment, she might get the two sides to finally come together in peace. If not, the answer to peace in the Middle East is probably floating around somewhere in that backpack of hers.

Thomas the Tank Engine will be on the scene. He won't be doing much as there is not an overabundance of railroad tracks in the region.

Hopefully we won't have to hear much about Joe the Plumber's antics in the Middle East. If we do, I'm going to suggest that we send somebody to interview him. I'd like it to be another FIRST NAME + THE + DESCRIPTIVE WORD(S). I think the person who would be best suited to this task would be Vlad the Impaler.

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Joe the Plumber, Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine, Vlad the Impaler, 15 minutes

The senate is headed in the right direction...

2009-01-07T20:29:00.001-05:00

There are two pieces of good news in regards to the U.S. Senate.

1. Thanks to the issues in Minnesota and Illinois, only 98 senators were sworn into office today. That's two down and 98 more to go. Too bad that these issues will likely be resolved and the Senate will once again balloon to the way too large 100 again.

2. You know, a lot of bad things come out of Washington because, you know, the senators, well, you know, talk too much. You know, if we had someone with, you know, great, like, you know, oratorical skills like, you know, Caroline Kennedy, you know, a lot less would, you know, happen. That would be, you know, great.

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politics, senate

What I'd like to see from our government in the year 2009...

2009-01-03T20:51:00.001-05:00

I think it is high time that our federal government aspires to be better than the rest of us, just like too many other people think it is. If you don't understand what I mean, read my previous post on the subject. Right now, it's no better than the rest of us. The government wants to spend more money than it is taking in via taxes. Their answer to this is the same as a lot of people. They whip out the plastic. That's part of the reason our economy is in its current state. Too many people are carrying too much debt. The only difference between us and the government is that we don't have a big tote board displaying our total debt.

Here's a list of things our government can do to save money. This is not an exhaustive list. It's just a start.

START THE SALARY CUTS AT THE TOP

The president makes too much money. He's already getting free room and board and all the free transportation he can consume. Anyone else who has a bunch of freebies should endure the same cuts.

NO MORE FREE HEALTHCARE

Representatives and Senators should buy their own health care. Lots of people who make less money than them buy their own. The health care they buy for themselves isn't always great but perhaps it will be a motivator for the health care reform so many are crying for and are not going to get as long as those who represent us have health care that the rest of us can only dream of having.

SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE DEPARTMENT OF WHAT THE HELL DO THEY DO ANYWAY?

Eliminate the Department of Commerce. Its function is currently being carried out in something the politicians in Washington will never let go of, pork barrel spending. Since we've never been able to be rid of it (not like we ever really tried) and the Congress-type-people are already there, might just as well save some money and just get rid of the whole department. Sorry, Bill but you're doing a fine job in your current position.

SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE DEPARTMENT OF PLENTY OF CHILDREN STILL LEFT BEHIND

Eliminate the Department of Education. If you don't like No Child Left Behind, and plenty don't and with good reason, then kill it by cutting off its head. According to the Department of Education website, their mission is sevenfold:

a) Strengthen the Federal commitment to assuring access to equal educational opportunity for every individual;

b) Supplement and complement the efforts of states, the local school systems and other instrumentalities of the states, the private sector, public and private nonprofit educational research institutions, community-based organizations, parents, and students to improve the quality of education;

c) Encourage the increased involvement of the public, parents, and students in Federal education programs;

d) Promote improvements in the quality and usefulness of education through Federally supported research, evaluation, and sharing of information;

e) Improve the coordination of Federal education programs;

f) Improve the management of Federal education activities; and

g) Increase the accountability of Federal education programs to the President, the Congress, and the public.

I will translate these for you:

a) Making sure the Federal government is committed to saying they'll do what they've already said they're doing so we can look busy and have a job.

b) Making us look busy so we can have a job. And someone dare to tell me that 'b' isn't a bunch of mission statement non-speak.

c) Making people interested in keeping us around so we can have a job.

d) Publish a bunch of statistics so we look busy and can have a job.

e) Talk to a bunch of people so we can look busy and have a job.

f) See letter 'e'.

g) Increasing our level of responsibilities so that we can look busy and have a job.

JOHN STEWART PUT ME ON TO THIS ONE

Ditch the Department of Transportation. I think John Stewart put it best in his book, America. I am paraphrasing because I only have the audiobook and don't have a print version to reference.

The Department of Transportation is one of the cabinet posts that allow you to make your cabinet look like America.

Seen a car?

Seen a plane?

Hispanic?

Want a job in my cabinet?

SPEND MONEY LIKE IRRESPONSIBLE CHILDREN? BE TREATED LIKE IRRESPONSIBLE CHILDREN.

Every line item in the Federal budget must include a layman's explanation of just what the hell the money is being spent on anyway.

I could go on but I've spent enough time on things that will never happen.

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daily show, democrat, economy, education, government reform, government spending, politics, republican, taxes, useless

Dave Barry's View of the Environment...

2008-12-27T00:40:00.001-05:00

I'm adopting Dave Barry's view on the environment. According to the scientists to whom he is listening, the environment isn't going to be a problem for us but for our children. His view is now my view; to hell with it. Our kids will have to deal with it. Maybe then they will think twice before they start something like hip hop.

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environment, hip hop, Dave Barry

Heard a good one...

2008-12-19T23:46:00.001-05:00

Politics

From the Greek

Poli = many

tics = blood sucking pests

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politics

Mt. Olympus D. C....

2008-12-19T23:30:00.002-05:00

I've been passively listening to the news of late. Nothing in particular since my primary sources of news are taking the holidays off. I hope John Stewart and Stephen Colbert have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I can't listen for very long a time as it induces a desire to gouge my eyes out with a shrimp fork. It is so difficult to listen to how our wonderful and perfect government is going to fix all our ills and protect us from ourselves since we all seem to be evil to the core. That is, of course, except for these people, nay, demigods that make up our government. It's so fortunate that we are even permitted to breathe the same air that they breathe. I've been hearing this bull emanate from Washington for a couple of decades now, from both democrats and republicans.

I long for the day that people will realize that government cures are like all the worse side effects you read about in the paperwork that comes with your prescription medications. And boys and girls, I have bad news for you. The side effects to come are not going to be something like, "an erection lasting longer than four hours." The cures to come, just as the cures of the past, will be more like, "gas with oily discharge."

Breathe easy. Things will improve. They've been bad and improved before and they will improve again. However, when we look back we will see that it improved in spite of government and not because of it. Oh, and bring a spare pair of underwear. That oily discharge can be a real mess.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, politician, politics, republican, unhappy side effects, government cures, gas with oily discharge

I miss my pal...

2008-12-11T01:33:00.001-05:00

This is my dachshund and cocker spaniel having a snooze on a blanket I have set by my computer. They'd keep me company while I did whatever I was doing on the computer. They were my nearly constant companions.

The day before yesterday (my birthday) I had to say my final good-byes to my cocker spaniel. She was 15. She was diagnosed with the beginning stages of kidney failure about a year ago. The vet said it would be about a year. A year came and went and we had to make that decision; is she living for us or for her? I know we made the right decision for her. She was a shadow of her former self and we just couldn't do that to her anymore. Knowing that makes it zero percent easier.

She had what I hope was a great life. She gave so much to us. She was in so many respects a puppy for almost all of her life. She was so much fun to have around. I hope she had as much fun with us as we did with her. I hope there are a lot of tennis balls in heaven because she loved them so much. I would also like there to be many plush friends for her. Stuffed toys were for her as teddy bears are to children.

Now as inconsolable as I am, I worry about my dachshund. Like many cocker spaniels, she went deaf about two years ago. Our dachshund took such good care of her. Now my dachshund doesn't quite know what to do with himself. When I moved from the living room to the computer room, he ran right to where our cocker spaniel liked to sleep to wake him to let her know we were changing locations. When I got home today, we went outside and he just didn't know what to do with himself. His "run around the yard" buddy wasn't there. He just stood there until I let him back in the house.

She'll come back home soon. Her ashes will help us remember what a joy she was in our life. She was so much a part of our life.

P.S. I don't think anybody actually reads this blog. If someone happens across it, please don't send me a link to "The Rainbow Bridge". I cry over this loss fairly spontaneously. I don't need any help.

An authorized prayer technician...

2008-11-30T15:53:00.007-05:00

Just bought the soundtrack to A Colbert Christmas" from iTunes. I highly recommend it if only for the song about angels putting you on hold.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

A Colbert Christmas: Feist Sings

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

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Stephen Colbert, Christmas

You have got to be kidding me...

2008-11-30T04:36:00.001-05:00

Just when you think you've seen just about everything, one more thing comes along to slap you in the face and say, "Hi, I'm here to help bring an end to Western Civilization." Monopoly has created a version that does the math for you. I don't get it. There is no math required in Monopoly that one shouldn't Master before entering Middle School. It just isn't that hard a game. What about income tax? If it's difficult to calculate, you're likely going to come out ahead by just paying the $200. It will also help prevent the other players from beating you up for stopping the game for half an hour while you calculate 10% of your cash, properties, and improvements. People wonder why our schools are failing. I'll tell you one reason. Our children are being offered more an more opportunities to not think.

In the interest of fairness, perhaps this is just a new twist on the game to help spark new sales this timeless classic. If that is the case, I can live with it. But anybody purchasing the game must first prove that they have mastered the skill set necessary to do all the math required in Monopoly before they earn the privilege of not having to do it anymore.

Disclosure: I love Monopoly. I only dislike this version of it. Oh, and the other versions with electronic money that I didn't know about before today. And maybe the SpongeBob edition.

Technorati Tags:
Monopoly, education

Insert your own electoral college joke here...

2008-11-28T20:47:00.001-05:00

The above image was created by ChrisnHouston. I am reusing the image in a manner consistent with his Creative Commons license and am attributing it as best I can although this screen name is the only name he provides with the work.

There was a short but interesting article on the NPR website about when we inaugurate our presidents. The article suggested moving the inauguration up to November 10th.

Let's break this down one piece at a time.

No easy feat...
The article states that Congress moved up the date in the 1930's to January 20th. The article fails to mention that the means by which this date was changed was by Constitutional amendment. I'm not going to explain the process. If you can read this, you can read the link. Let's summarize by saying it isn't an accident that there has only been 27 amendments in 200+ years of history.

It was the 20th Amendment that changed inauguration day from March 4th to January 20th. Virginia was the first state to ratify the amendment on March 4th, 1932. It finally received the required number of states to become law on January 23th, 1933 (nine short months later) when Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, and Utah ratified.

That pesky electoral college...
The simple fact of the matter is that Barack Obama hasn't been elected president yet. Americans don't vote for our president, we vote for electors. It is then the electoral college which votes for the president. I mention this not because I think the electoral college is going to do something stupid and vote for someone else. I mention this because the electoral college typically meets in December. Obama could not be sworn in on November 10th under any circumstances. He has not quite yet been elected president. The theoretical amendment that moves up inauguration day could abolish the electoral college. It has been proposed before.

Bah humbug...
Even if the electoral college were deep sixed, there is such a thing as too soon. A new president should have post election time to prepare to assume office. Not all candidates have Obama's advantage of being a shoe-in allowing him free time prior to November 4th to prepare for his ascension to the presidency. I don't know what a reasonable amount of time would be but I suspect that it would end no sooner than December 1st. Now we're coming up on Eid al-Adha, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa. Does anybody really want to try and pull of an inauguration during the silly season? I know a lot of people do. It doesn't make it a good idea.

The Point of Not Worth It...
If the inauguration is going to be pushed into Jauary, then it's time to take a good, hard look at what date is being considered and if the effort is worth a Constitutional amendment.

If we are going to change the inauguration date, it's too late for this one. By the time we get a 28th amendment, even under the best of circumstances, the Obama's new puppy will be well White House broken and probably wouldn't be a puppy anymore.

One more thing: Please, please, please don't be stupid about it. I am hoping that there is just enough group intelligence left in Washington to not go through this entire process just to move the inauguration up to January 12th.

Who am I kidding. Let's hope the ratification process is interesting and instructive.

Technorati Tags:
election, obama, politics, electoral college, NPR, 20th amendment, inauguration

Sometimes you need to rely on your friends' judgement...

2008-11-28T19:30:00.001-05:00

We were elated to hear the news that our best friends are pregnant. Well, in strictest terms, only she's really pregnant but it's politically correct these days to say they both are. I still think it sounds stupid but they are the times in which we live (at least waitron didn't catch on). They are engaging in the process of choosing a name for the baby. We don't have kids so aren't entirely sure how to go about this process but my wife struck upon genius. I had suggested something from Marvel comics. My less than inspired idea was to name the child after my personal favorite...Magneto. My wife came up with a much better idea and the ideal name for the child...Ghost Rider. It works well. You can choose to have a built-in middle name...Ghost Rider Lippschidts (not their real name). Or you could choose to have one of those really cool four name names...Ghost Rider Gambit Flivelsticks (also not their real name).

Either way, I can't wait until this summer to say, "Welcome to the world, Ghost Rider."

It's kinda nice to talk about something important instead of politics.

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politics, friends, baby, Ghost Rider, Gambit

Stephen Colbert is reading my blog...

2008-11-28T03:32:00.002-05:00

In my November 4th entry, I went off on a tangent and wondered what it might be like if Charles Xavier, leader of the X-Men, were president. I also said that I would expand on that idea at a later date. Well, Stephen Colbert in his 11/13/08 episode of the Colbert Report picked up my slack. Yes, I know I'm late posting this. Shoot me.

He appears on the cover of one of the variants of Amazing Spider-man #573. He had a lot of funny things in that episode.

-He was strong in the demographics of invisible women and elastic dads.

-He may have lost independent votes due to his stance against same Thing marriages.

-J. Jonah Jameson pulled a Dewey Defeats Truman and announces that Colbert won the election only to retract the next day as Colbert won the popular vote but lost in the electoral college to Obama.

-His loss is probably because the elderly people in Broward County, Florida accidently voted for Thor.

-He would have fixed our economy with the help of his Treasury Secretary, billionaire industrialist Tony Stark.

-He would have stopped illegal Skrulls from streaming across our space borders.

-He would have arrested the Silver Surfer for public indecency and made him wear silver pants.

-He would have reached across the aisle to DC Comics.

-He has a close, personal relationship with Superman.......although they've never been seen together. Hmmmmm.

I'm glad I never got around to writing my blog entry. Colbert was much funnier than I could have been. However I do think he missed out one one small item.

People want to keep the U. S. out of wars. I give you Secretary of Defense Wolverine. We'd likely never have to go to war with anybody, but if we did, the war would be really, really short.

I would also suggest Secretary of Homeland Security Wolverine. Terrorists will think twice before inviting perforation with adamantium claws.

Before anyone says anything.....No, I don't really think Stephen Colbert is reading my blog.

I think one of his writers is. ;-)

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election, obama, X-Men, Spider-man, Fantastic Four, Tony Stark, Skrulls, Silver Surfer, Stephen Colbert

The use of Wikipedia...

2008-11-28T02:14:00.001-05:00

When I cite in my blog, which I have been known to do from time to time, I tend to use Wikipedia. Some might be inclined to ask why I would use a source that has been less than reliable from time to time. The answer is simple. This blog is about politics. It just isn't important enough to me to go digging around for the ultimate irrefutable source. I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything here. I don't even believe it is possible. Liberals and conservatives, democrats and republicans, whatever you want to call them aren't going to be convinced by anything. American partisans hold to their beliefs dearly. The beliefs held by each side are usually polar opposites from one another and they are both usually bullshit.

I think it was a line from Babylon 5 that makes this mess the most clear to me. "...understanding is a three edged sword: Your side, their side - and the truth." It is unfortunate that this will never help anyone else. Partisans are unlikely to allow little things like facts to confuse them.

Keep on yelling, kids. The one who yells loudest or last is usually declared correct.

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democrat, politics, republican, Wikipedia, Babylon 5, three edged sword

The flowchart of every politician...

2008-11-27T02:59:00.012-05:00

Politicians care about exactly two things: getting elected and then getting reelected. See the chart below. You'll have to click on the image to actually read it. I don't know how to make it bigger. Blogger seems intent on scaling it. I will try to figure out a way to make it a downloadable .pdf at a later date.

I don't believe a lot of editorial comment is necessary here. For those of you who foolishly cling to the notion that your government is going to somehow make your life better, you had better pray that what you want is going to improve the chances of a politician's getting elected or reelected with no appreciable downside. Otherwise, you're in for a long wait.

Technorati Tags:
democrat, republican, politics, politician, election

Why politics is like NASCAR...

2008-11-16T22:07:00.002-05:00

I just finished watching Jimmie Johnson win his third Sprint Cup Championship in a row. He joins Cale Yarborough as the only driver in history to win three cup championships in a row. Regardless of his accomplishment, if you were to ask one out of two NASCAR fans who the greatest driver is, they would respond Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is the son of the NASCAR legend, Dale Earnhardt, Sr. The father won seven cup championships matched only by "The King", Richard Petty. The son has won zero cup championships. His popularity has more to do with his being in a sport in which his father was very successful and adored by millions than with his personal success.

This reminds me a great deal of our current dominant political parties.

The Democratic Party:
The Party of John F. Kennedy
The Party of Franklin Roosevelt

The Republican Party:
The Party of Abraham Lincoln
The Party of Ronald Reagan

Like Dale Earnhardt, Jr., our political parties are resting on their past. The only difference is that for Junior, it just happened. With our political parties, they have specifically tried to link themselves to their past. That's even more disgusting.

It may be that 100 years from now, the Democrats will be the party of Barack Obama. Perhaps history will judge him the greatest president of the 21st century. In a way, I hope not. It's only 2008. I'd hate to think it's all down hill from here. Regardless of how history judges Obama, he's not Kennedy and he's not the second Roosevelt.

Congratulations, Jimmie Johnson on your third consecutive championship! Perhaps you'd have more fans if you were a less successful driver with a more famous dad.

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democrat, mccain, obama, republican, NASCAR, Dale Earnhardt, Junior, Kennedy, Roosevelt, Lincoln, Reagan

And I looked, and behold a Midwestern governor: and his name that sat on her was Economic Ruin...

2008-11-08T20:03:00.002-05:00

Above is an AP photo of President-elect Obama with his economic advisory team. Look to the far left. Who could that be? Yes, it's Jennifer Granholm. Jennifer Granholm has been Michigan's governor since January 1st, 2003. She's overseen an economy sinking into oblivion. Being a Michigan refugee, I take this particular appointment personally. In bad economic times, one does not have as a member of their economic team a person who has watched the water rise in a sinking boat while trying to find a bucket with which to bail. She doesn't belong in Washington advising anyone on economic matters, and certainly not our next president. She belongs back in Michigan working on Michigan's economy.

One of the very few good things about not living in Michigan anymore is I don't have to listen to the pathetic whining of her apologists anymore.

I think all politicians are pretty much useless. Some, such as Governor Granholm, give the word useless a whole new and even more unflattering meaning.

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economy, government spending, obama, politics, granholm, useless

And for the same reason...

2008-11-08T19:15:00.001-05:00

Finally got around to watching Man of the Year with the very funny Robin Williams, the very creepy Christopher Walken, and the "I ought to mention a female lead" Laura Linney. It's funny. I think the movie was a little confused about what it really wanted to be. Perhaps it knew and changed its mind during production. I'm not sure but the end left me somewhat cold. That is, except for Williams' last line..."Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed frequently and for the same reason." The truth comes from so many sources.

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election, politics, robin williams, man of the year

The three-syllable chantable...

2008-11-06T21:10:00.008-05:00

You could do worse than spend some time watching the November 3rd episode of the Colbert Report.

In his Winners and Losers of the 2008 Campaign, he brought up the three-syllable chants that were such a part of this campaign season. P.S. Thank God it's over. I could use his punch line here and ruin it, but instead, I will promote the three-syllable chantables that I think should be chanted by millions.

Mac-in-tosh
Mac-in-tosh
Mac-in-tosh
I prefer them to Windows machines.

Cor-ner Gas
Cor-ner Gas
Cor-ner Gas
Those Canadians....ZANY!

More pup-pies
More pup-pies
More pup-pies
Can any family really have enough dogs? C'mon...you know the answer.

As you may suspect, I get most of my news from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I prefer my news from sources that go less for the facts and more for the really funny joke. I also use any other news source that would prefer to mock the news rather than report it. I also enjoy Fox News because, person for person, they have the hottest female anchors. This is especially true of Andrea Tantaros who is achingly beautiful. I know Fox News has a bad reputation for being right wing and I would be roundly criticized as a person willing to listen to lies. I would point out to you that I'm looking at her, not listening to her. I wasn't actually aware that she talked.

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politics, election, obama, colbert report, daily show, fox news, chantable, mccain

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apple computer, macintosh

Barack Obama...

2008-11-05T21:34:00.002-05:00

In January, Barack Obama will become our 44th president. In a self-serving moment, President-elect Obama has proven me right on one point. I have long held that a black man would ascend to the presidency before a woman of any color. It's historical. It was legal for black men to vote before it was legal for women to vote. I'm not saying that it was always easy, practical, or even safe for black men to vote. I know my history. But on paper, black men possessed the legal right prior to women. That said, congratulations President-elect Obama. It was too long in coming. It's been 44 years since the Civil Rights Act became law. No offense, Mr. President-elect, but you shouldn't be our first African-American president. You should be our second or third.

My prediction now that the election is over has not changed. The democrats will have an unproductive four to sixteen-ish years in office and then it will again be the republicans turn to accomplish little to nothing for a similar amount of time.

OK, Mr. President-elect, you proved me right on the order in which non-white people would ascend to the presidency. Now this is your big chance to prove me wrong. Figure out a way to make something, anything, useful happen in gridlock central. Good luck.

Technorati Tags:
election, obama, politics

Things to do if you're too disinterested to vote...

2008-11-04T12:56:00.005-05:00

The USA Network has a sixteen hour marathon of House. Obviously his cynicism appeals to me. Cynic is a word invented by optimists to insult realists. Flip on the TV, grab a cup of coffee, and enjoy.

Photo from hughlaurie.net. Used with permission.

If you want to sit in front of the TV but are afraid they will interrupt your viewing enjoyment with, "breaking news," you may want to consider a video game. If you're still afraid that you may hear the words, "We interrupt this boss fight for special election coverage," you may want to move to the computer. If you are afraid you will hear the words, "We have opened your media player for you so that we may bring you this important election coverage," you may want to try a board game. If you are afraid that you will flip over the Community Chest card and it will tell you something about the election, I can't help you with that one.

If neither of those appeal to you, you may want to consider falling back on that tried and true brain engagement technique called reading. I would suggest something light, such as a comic book or if you are really ambitious, perhaps something like an X-Men novelization. There is nothing more relaxing on an irritating day like today than to read about Gambit cutting down the opposition with exploding playing cards.

It does lead one to wonder what the country would be like if it were run by the X-Men. President Charles Xavier, as much as he would find it distasteful, using his mental powers to convince congress that they don't want to spend several hundred million dollars erecting a gigantic farm implement covered with dirt as a tribute to our agricultural heritage. He could use his mental powers to convince people that they would look at it and say, "That's one great big, dirty hoe." A special thanks to one of my favorite episodes of Corner Gas for that little bit. I will leave a discussion of the benefits of the Secretary of Agriculture (Storm) and Secretary of Defense (Wolverine, obviously) for another post.

If all else fails, I suppose you could always post to your blog, or start a blog, or read someone else's blog.

More later when this is all over. I'm going to go do something else now.

Technorati Tags:
election, politics, house, x-men, blog

What Not to Expect from Our Next President...

2008-11-03T20:41:00.003-05:00

In spite of my commitment to not doing too much research for this blog, I did decide to do a little reading about our presidential candidates. What I was interested in reading was what will not be happening over the next four years.

The two site I went to for my information were...

Barack Obama: barackobama.com

John McCain: johnmccain.com

If I'm not terribly mistaken, these are the official website of each candidate. If I am mistaken, please feel free to let me know. I will alter my sources. Fair disclosure: I did not read what the websites reported as the opposition's views. I assume they are lies and exaggerations.

So here we go...a rundown on what not to expect in the next four years. It doesn't matter who wins.

1. A bold, economic plan that will fix the economy. Governments can tweak the economy for better or for worse, usually the latter. The economy cycles. It will get worse, then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. It does this in spite of government much more often than because of it.

2. Low taxes or fair taxes or reasonable taxes or easy taxes or whatever you want to call it. Politicians are going to spend money in massive quantities and waste money in massive quantities. They're going to have to get it from somewhere. That somewhere is a combination of us and extensive borrowing. They can get it from us in one of several ways. They can tax us directly. They can tax us indirectly in the form of consumption and sales taxes. They can get it from us in the form of business taxes which will ultimately come from us because it will be built into the cost of Big Macs, bottles of pop, iPods, wrenches, and whatever else we might want to buy.

3. Beneficial educational reform that will really fix what is wrong with our schools. No Child Left Behind was a terrible idea. It's not bad only because the system it utilizes to improve education is fundamentally flawed, but because it was perfectly named to last forever. It may get some tiny tweaks but anyone who tries to make fundamental changes to it will have the opposition label them as the proponent of, "Some Children Left Behind." It also suffers by sounding like a book written by Tim LaHaye.

4. Energy independence is not just over the horizon. Cars are going to run on gasoline for a long time to come. The candidates can promise greener alternatives but unless they have some radical new technology waiting to be released until after they take office, there just isn't going to be the car of the future that runs on love and imagination or whatever on the showroom floors soon.

5. Healthcare is an easy one. Our elected officials haven't even been able to keep the cost of healthcare from skyrocketing. They haven't even slowed it down. These same people are not all of the sudden going to make it free for everyone.

6. Government reform isn't happening. Pop cans don't take themselves to the to the grocery store to be recycled. Paper and plastic doesn't sort itself. Raw sewage doesn't treat itself. Government is not going to fix itself.

7. There will be no reduction in government spending. Neither of these candidates has provided us a list of things on which they are going to stop spending money. It has been rather the opposite.

I could go on but I'm tired and I think you see my point. Whatever you are afraid will happen if the person you don't want gets elected won't. You name it and it isn't going to make it through the government gridlock.

Technorati Tags:
election, mccain, obama, politics, economy, taxes, education, energy policy, healthcare reform, government reform, government spending

As a testament to my disinterest...

2008-11-01T22:36:00.007-04:00

I'm not voting in this election. I moved to a different state recently and didn't even bother to register. Why waste the gas to go to my polling place if I truly believe that it won't make a bit of difference which person is elected? If I truly believe it is a zero sum game (and I do), then it is a waste of my time to pull one lever or another. It's even environmentally friendly. I won't be increasing my carbon footprint if my car sits in the driveway on election day. Since my place of employment is closed on election day, the car won't be used at all. Unless a car is environmentally unfriendly while it sits inert in the driveway, it will have no environmental impact this election day.

Now there are those out there who will say that since I am not voting, I have no right to complain. I know this because I used to be one of them. I feel rather foolish about it now. It's really simple if one stops to think about it. A person who stays home on election day because he or she doesn't believe either candidate deserves his or her vote retains his or her right to complain as the candidate who ultimately wins will not represent the less desirable alternative. Future complaining will not be directed at any individual person in office, but rather at the system as there was no opportunity for that person to vote for someone who will improve the situation. The minute this person says, "Things would have been better if [insert candidate's name here] had been elected," then they forfeit all complaining rights. You won't be hearing such words from me. There are several people running for office. I don't believe it makes a hoot in hell difference which wins. Until there are some fundamental changes in the way the system works, there isn't anyone who will change the face of the American political scene.

I'm Barack Obama and I'm being forced to do this by people with guns off camera…

2008-10-29T21:39:00.002-04:00

I watched a minute-ish commercial where Barack Obama talked about the different plans he has for when he becomes president. I couldn't tell you precisely what he was talking about because when politicians speak, I automatically file it under lies and pipe dreams for later shredding. What came at the end demonstrated what a farce our political system has become. He actually said, "I'm Barack Obama and I endorse this message." Well, you're Barack Obama. You're saying this message yourself. Doesn't that, by default, mean you are endorsing the message by saying it yourself?

I want that commercial analyzed. Maybe he's blinking a message to us in morse code. Maybe he really is being forced to say these things. On the other hand, I've seen him live since that commercial was probably made, so we know he's OK. But keep an eye out. There could be unsavory people in the shadows.

This would have been just as funny if McCain had done it. No, it would have been a bit funnier. There could have been some old person joke about how he didn't remember what he was doing or something like that.

Perhaps by the time Mickey Mouse actually runs for office, they can replace, "I endorse this message," with what that really means.

I'm Mickey Mouse and this is just what politicians are expected to do.

I'm Mickey Mouse and my strategists have told me that this will resonate with undecided voters.

I'm Mickey Mouse and the polls say this is really popular.

I'm Mickey Mouse and these are really memorable sound bites.

I'm Mickey Mouse and if this legislation ever sees the light of day, it will be loaded with so much pork barrel spending that we'd be better off not passing it.

I'm Mickey Mouse and let's face it, attack ads really work.

I'm Mickey Mouse and if the opposition party doesn't stop me, my own party will.

I'm Mickey Mouse and I'm not buying any of this either.

The honesty would be refreshing.

A brief aside...

2008-10-28T21:26:00.004-04:00

Sarah Palin disappointed me greatly. When her eldest daughter hit the news like like that planet in When Worlds Collide, I was very excited. I thought Bristol was a great name. What a great idea! Name your children after race tracks. I wondered what her other children were named.

Martinsville?

Infineon?

Watkins Glen?

Michigan International Speedway?

Needless to say, I was sorely disappointed to find out that I had guessed wrong. What a bummer! What a missed opportunity! Who is going to tell me that Darlington or Talladega aren't great names for kids?

When one is no different than the other…

2008-10-28T20:35:00.003-04:00

My wife was watching Fox News while we were eating dinner tonight. My wife is still proudly a Republican. I envy her. She still believes. But I digress. Neil Cavuto was talking about the economic plans of Obama and McCain. He pointed out that there really isn't much difference in their attitude toward spending. Neither of them are really afraid of spending money. Neither of them have avoided too many opportunities to spend money.

I could take this opportunity to explain to you the sources and methodologies used to verify this contention. But I look at it this way: they're politicians. What the hell else do they do except spend other people's money, usually badly. Besides, I'm blogging, not writing my doctoral thesis. If you want carefully researched information, please go to http://www.encyclopedia.com/. It has much more carefully researched information but I promise that I will ultimately be more fun to read. The ramblings of a complete stranger are usually more compelling.

It was an interesting vindication of my starting this blog. He presented a thin slice (he was using one of those devices they use to slice things that are going to go under a microscope) of what I am feeling. It's nice to know that in some small way that someone shares at least one of my views.

And so it begins...

2008-10-27T21:55:00.003-04:00

I've wanted to do start a blog for some time. I know a blogger and know of many bloggers. I want to be numbered among this august group of people. The thing that has kept me from starting a blog is that I haven't had in mind a topic on which I could speak for any length of time. I still may not have one. I think that this topic has legs.

I'm sick of politics. I'm not just sick of this election, I'm sick of politics. I used to love it. I watched the debates. I watched news shows with zeal, my favorite being the McLaughlin Group. It was fun. I'd discuss. I'd get angry. I'd yell at the TV. That is all over now.

I tried to get interested in this political season. I thought it would be like the previous ones. It was the first debate that turned it all around. The debate started. I listened. Then it occurred to me. I've been listening to this same drivel since the Reagan/Mondale debates. The names have changed. Different words were used. The arguments were framed a little differently, but both of the dominant political parties are still promising the same cures to the same societal ills flavored to fit their own political philosophies.

This blog will be an outlet for my disinterest or disgust (depends on the day) with American politics. I'll post as often as my soul needs unburdening. If you are reading this and feel as I do, please feel free to join me in my angst. It may help. I'm beginning to feel better already.